Want Inner Peace? – Here’s How: Step 7 – Gaining Inner Peace

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Want Inner Peace? – Here’s How: Step 7 – Gaining Inner Peace

Licensed Psychologist, Keynote Speaker, Best Selling Author, and Leader in Global Conflict Resolution

Once we have reached Step Seven in the forgiveness process, we have come to a very special place. There are certain things we have come to realize about our minds and the way we think. We may have realized that in a sense we have operated from two minds – our ego self and our spiritual self or the place of our divinity. When we function from the lower self, we believe that responsibility for whatever has taken place is outside of ourselves, not within. When we work through our higher or spiritual nature, our divinity helps us see through our illusions and misperceptions. Our spiritual essence is that part of our self that is in touch with the creative force and reminds us that this force is always within us. It is the part that tells us that there is another way we can go about living and interacting in this world. In Step Seven, the spiritual self is awakened, setting the stage for a transformation to take place that only forgiveness can bring.

This step not only asks us to understand what has taken place in another person’s life but also to recognize that what we see in them is the outer covering and not their true inner being. When we are able to see their inner light, no matter what the outer actions are, we are seeing with spiritual sight. All of us wear different outer clothes but are the same at the depth of our being, and so we look for their light and do not focus on the outer covering. When you can open your heart to others, no matter what the circumstances are, and not lose sight of their spiritual essence, a transformation within you takes place. Your life changes to a more meaningful existence and you experience the wonderful fruits of your labor. For some people these changes happen gradually, and they may not notice how profoundly they have changed. For others, their transformation can be so deep that not only is it a profound moment in their lives, what they chose to do becomes an incredible service to mankind.

When we make the commitment to forgive others, we are sometimes given a gift. If we find that we are struggling to forgive but know in our heart the commitment is there, sometimes a mysterious energy intervenes. We can experience this force as a surge of energy or the feeling of inexplicable love. Some people call it grace, and others call it a third factor that transcends anything they have ever experienced. At this point in our healing process, we open ourselves to the entirety of what is. In that opening we allow ourselves to be at one with a situation, or with life as a whole, and a profound healing takes place. There is nothing we can do to create this experience except to say to ourselves, “I take responsibility for my anger, guilt and pain and give it over to that which is greater than me.” If our request is heartfelt, we will get the help we need. This can be one of the most profound moments of our life when our prayers are answered.

With forgiveness the past, although not forgotten nor rationalized away, is not longer a haunting or burdensome issue. Instead, we experience a restoration of a sense of wholeness and of inner direction and an opening up of our heart to others. We can acknowledge that others act in a way human beings do, out of their fears, needs and perceptions, and that we are no different. This understanding makes it possible for us to live in a new and fuller way.

Last, the spiritual dimension of forgiveness cannot be over-looked. It is the transforming nature of forgiveness, coupled with what some experience; that involves more than our own will that makes forgiveness so profound. Once forgiveness is experience at this deeper level, we can realize the larger meaning of the injury. The sense of relief from the hurt itself seems to be only one aspect, perhaps even small, compared to the freedom we experience from forgiveness. The future opens with amazing possibilities, and we feel a fuller kinship with others and at the same time humbled by what seems to be a gift that only forgiveness can bring.

For your journal exercise, rewrite your forgiveness story, this time with the understanding you have gained going through the forgiveness process. Include in your story the understanding you have gained about yourself and the perpetrator. How has your thinking changed in terms of how you choose to see the world? Did you struggle with letting go of your anger and guilt and, if so, what happened or what did you need to have happen to finally let go? Did you experience a moment of grace and if so, how has that changed you? Finish your story with what you would like to do or say that you may not have been able to do yet.

Reflection: As you think about what you learned through this process what has seeing the world through spiritual sight taught you? What have you learned and gained from the forgiveness process?

And remember, forgiveness is the science of the heart. It is the anchoring of a new wisdom rooted in compassion. For those who have the courage to follow its path, forgiveness reminds us how to live wit love in a world filled with guilt and fear.

We are the ones who determine how much anger and hatred we will experience in our lives, as well as how much compassion and forgiveness we will extend to others. We have been given opportunities to hate and the wisdom to transcend our hate. Think of the personal power we much have to move beyond old choices and to respond to life from a place of spiritual wisdom. Our pain and suffering provide us with the chance to learn how to forgive and to know our truest, most beautiful nature. Forgiveness is the gift given to us to transcend our darkness and like alchemy, turns it to gold.

Please share your thoughts on : https://www.facebook.com/7-Steps-to-Forgiveness-109220899099707/, twitter @erborris or www.linkedin.com/in/dreileenborris
As always, I am interested in hearing about your experience and welcome all your comments, so please feel free to share your thoughts on this blog. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

For more information on learning how to forgive go to “Finding Forgiveness: A 7-Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness” by Eileen R. Borris-Dunchunstang.
https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Forgiveness-Bitterness-Borris-Dunchunstang-published/dp/B009CS3U6M/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1518395122&sr=8-2&keywords=Borris-Dunchunstang


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Ouch! The Pain Really Hurts – Step Six: Absorbing Pain

Licensed Psychologist, Keynote Speaker, Best Selling Author, and Leader in Global Conflict Resolution

As we continue our journey in learning how to forgive we finally come to a place where we deal with our pain. Pain can feel devastating. We may try to deny it or cover it up, sometimes using alcohol and drugs, but eventually, if we want to forgive we will have to learn how to deal constructively with our pain. You have already begun healing your pain by uncovering and working through your anger and guilt. The next part of the process involves mourning.

To release pain, we need to grieve, especially for the loss the offense has brought, be it the loss of innocence or some ending that needs to be mourned. Mourning is essential for healing and moving on in our lives. It is also something we would rather avoid. Sometimes we refuse to grieve as a way of denying victory to the perpetrator. To the extent that we are unable to grieve indicates how much we are cut off from an important part of our own healing process. When we allow ourselves to mourn we discover that our inner strength is indestructible. Mourning means that we will have to live tomorrow differently than before, usually with a void to fill. This is the time we give ourselves permission to cry. For some of us, this could be for the first time. Often, especially if the offense happened when we were children, we had to keep in or deny feelings concerning what befell us as a way of survival. Now we can do things differently. Only when we give ourselves permission to feel the pain can we absorb it.

Absorbing our pain is the most difficult part of the forgiveness process. Paradoxically, by absorbing the pain, the pain slowly dissipates until we are freed from it. By absorbing the pain, we accept it and, instead of being a victim, we become survivors. In accepting the pain, we discover that we can begin to handle it and we become stronger. This is how the pain lessens. Accepting pain is a pivotal step in the forgiveness process. As we learn how to do this for ourselves, our hearts begin to open, and we gain a greater ability to care for ourselves and others. When we finally begin to hurt and grieve, we free ourselves of those emotional burdens. This is how we heal. In taking responsibility for our emotional life, as difficult as this may be, we become stronger and more complete.

Part of our healing is to give our pain meaning. It brings us peace when out of tragedy something good comes from it. Many organizations have been formed in the name of a loved one, usually with the hope that their work will make a difference in the lives of others. By helping others heal, we are developing “spiritual currency” for ourselves, which has a dramatic effect on our healing process. By giving to others and helping to create a better world, we give meaning to our life. This spiritual currency helps to fill a void that many tragedies bring. Often when we make these kinds of decisions a spiritual transformation takes place within us. Even if we don’t begin something new, by creating something positive, however small, it will begin to give us peace.

For this journal exercise, allow yourself to feel your pain and grief and whatever it is that is festering inside of you. Explore these emotions and ask what they want to tell you. What does your grief need to be healed? What does your pain need to be healed? How can you give pain meaning? What will your life be like once you are able to absorb your pain? If you are having difficulty absorbing your pain, what is getting in the way? Explore the resistant part of yourself. Ask your resistance what it wants and needs from you. Examine all these emotions until nothing is left. Then describe what your life would look like if you could accept your pain, heal your grief, and bring new meaning to your life.

Reflection: As you think about mourning and letting-go think about what does it mean for you to accept your pain? Can any of your beliefs help you in this process? Are there feelings you are holding onto that nurture your pain? Is there something you can do that will symbolize the acceptance of your pain?

Please share your thoughts on : https://www.facebook.com/7-Steps-to-Forgiveness-109220899099707/, twitter @erborris or www.linkedin.com/in/dreileenborris
As always, I am interested in hearing about your experience and welcome all your comments, so please feel free to share your thoughts on this blog. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
For more information on learning how to forgive go to “Finding Forgiveness: A 7-Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness” by Eileen R. Borris-Dunchunstang.
https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Forgiveness-Bitterness-Borris-Dunchunstang-published/dp/B009CS3U6M/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1518395122&sr=8-2&keywords=Borris-Dunchunstang


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What Does Forgiveness Mean to you?

Licensed Psychologist, Keynote Speaker, Best Selling Author, and Leader in Global Conflict Resolution

 

Alexander Pope said it best: “To err is human, to forgive divine.” If you’ve ever been deeply hurt by someone or suffered through a painful ordeal, you know how hard it is to forgive and forget. Being able to forgive ourselves and one another is an essential element in developing healthy relationships in our day-to-day lives and in the world. A willingness to forgive can help release the emotional burden that keeps us from connecting on a deeper level with one another and from having peace of mind. But what is forgiveness?

I invite you to join in a forgiveness campaign for the next 8 weeks to learn what forgiveness is and how to do it. I hope people will share their stories about forgiveness, their struggles and successes, learn what forgiveness truly means and how a little willingness to forgive can help to release the emotional burdens which keeps us from connecting on a deeper level with one another and having peace of mind.

A story that I would like to share is concerning the bombing of the Murrah Federal Building which took place in Oklahoma City, April 19, 1995. Bud Welch whose twenty-three -year -old daughter was killed in that bombing. Welch’s words were “Fry those bastards!” I want Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols hanged, no trials necessary. “From that moment I learned it was a bomb, I survived on hate.”

Bud’s anger was focused on Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols, and like so many others, Bud wished for their speedy conviction and execution. When he saw McVeigh’s father on television a few months after the bombing, however, his emotions began to change. He realized that “this man has lost a child, too.”

Not all of us could come to this conclusion so quickly. What did Bud Welch know that most of us might not if we found ourselves in a similar situation? Before Bud could get to this place of recognizing that both fathers were dealing with a painful loss, he had to deal with his personal healing.

Bud eventually arranged to meet with Timothy McVeigh’s father, Bill. “I saw a deep pain in a father’s eye, but also an incredible love for his son.” I was able to tell him that I truly understood the pain that he was going through, and that he – as I – was a victim of what happened in Oklahoma City.

What Bud was able to accomplish you, too, will be able to do if you choose to. The journey begins with understanding what forgiveness with all its complexities truly means.

Throughout our lives most of us have been taught about forgiveness. Each one of us thinks differently about what forgiveness means, ranging from emotional weakness to high moral standards. To be able to forgive, we need to understand what forgiveness means. Otherwise, our misconceptions can become obstacles in our ability to forgive.

Forgiveness is a process that shows us how to heal emotional pain by choosing to see the person who caused the pain differently. It is about changing the way we think about ourselves and the way we see the world. Forgiveness is an essential part of our healing, enabling us to release our anger, pain and suffering. As we learn to forgive and heal our emotional pain. We begin to experience the gift of inner peace.

Ultimately, forgiveness is about changing the way we think. Its transformational power moves us from being helpless victims of our circumstances to powerful co-creators of our reality. We learn to see people anew every day in terms of their future potential, not their past deeds. In becoming more loving, compassionate and understanding human beings, we gain the ability to have a deeper relationship with ourselves and with the significant people in our lives and we will know true peace.

Please share your thoughts on : www.drborris.com:https://www.facebook.com/7-Steps-to-Forgiveness-109220899099707/, twitter @erborris or www.linkedin.com/in/dreileenborris
As always, I am interested in hearing about your experience and welcome all your comments. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

For more information on learning how to forgive go to “Finding Forgiveness: A 7-Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness” by Eileen R. Borris-Dunchunstang.


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Will the Real Person Please Stand Up! Step 5 – Reframing the Situation

Licensed Psychologist, Keynote Speaker, Best Selling Author, and Leader in Global Conflict Resolution

As you continue your forgiveness journey and have begun to work through your emotional pain we come to the step which entails changing our thinking about the situation. We have begun to heal our anger and guilt, which helps us to see things differently. Once we have learned the lessons our emotions want to teach us, the reins of pain loosen. At this point of the forgiveness process, we are ready to think about the other person who needs forgiveness, and not the incident or the pain it has caused. We begin to reframe the situation in a different conceptual context. We recognize that outward appearances don’t tell the entire story of what is inside a person. This realization helps us shift our focus from ourselves to thinking about the perpetrator. We begin to ask the questions, “Why did this person behave in a certain way? What life events brought this person to do this particular act at this particular time?” When we ask these questions, we eventually recognize that a healthy and happy person would not do harm to others. Only those who are wounded themselves would continue to perpetuate suffering. That’s why our healing is important; so, we do not react from our pain, creating more pain for others.

We learn how to become more compassionate by being willing to walk in someone else’s shoes and see the world from that person’s psychological perspective. Compassion involves being open to the suffering of oneself and others in a nonjudgmental way. We are willing to look at their life events and how those events have affected them We recognize how their pain has caused them to behave in the ways we have experienced them. This may help us appreciate how lucky we have been that our life circumstances have been much better than theirs. The more you grow in compassion, the more resilient you become in dealing with painful situations and the greater your ability to transform these situations into more positive conditions. Compassion becomes a source of inner strength. As we grow in compassion and begin to develop a spiritual understanding that an outward behavior does not negate the true essence of who this person is, our commitment to the forgiveness process deepens.

For your journal exercise rewrite your story to create a “healing” story that reflects an understanding of the perpetrator. Put yourself in his or her shoes and include a description of the perpetrator and what motivated the action. Where were the wounds? What was this person’s life like that possibly led to the action? If you found that a lot of anger or resistance came up and you could not put yourself in the perpetrator’s shoes, explore that. Did a shift in your thinking take place and, if so, how did it happen? If not, journal with what is blocking you in making that shift. Describe how you can see the situation differently now.

Reflection: As you think about reframing your situation ask yourself, what are some things you can do to grow in compassion? What are your spiritual beliefs about who we are as human beings? Can these spiritual beliefs help deepen your commitment to forgive? Are you willing to consider forgiveness and, if not, what is getting in your way? Please share your thoughts on : https://www.facebook.com/7-Steps-to-Forgiveness-109220899099707/, twitter @erborris or www.linkedin.com/in/dreileenborris

As always, I am interested in hearing about your experience and welcome all your comments, so please feel free to share your thoughts on this blog. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
For more information on learning how to forgive go to “Finding Forgiveness: A 7-Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness” by Eileen R. Borris-Dunchunstang.


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Learning How to Forgive: Step 2 – Telling Your Story

 

Once you recognize the healing effect that forgiveness can have in your life and that revenge will not take your pain away, you are ready to take the next step in the forgiveness process. Step two is about telling your story to those you trust. You begin with what is inside of you right now. Most of us feel some very strong emotions and the need to for revenge may still be lurking not far behind. Tell your story as completely, and with as much depth and detail as possible. You may want to start with a review of your life and the circumstances that led up to the event. Talk about important relationships and whatever else is pertinent to provide a context within which the particular meaning of the event or events can be understood. Then give a detailed account, your response to it, and the responses of the important people in your life. If it is difficult to talk about it, write or draw your story. Drawing pictures can be tremendously healing in working through painful material. Tell your story as though you were watching a movie with as much vivid description as possible. What are you seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling, and thinking?

When you first tell your story, it may be incomplete. It is important to bring all the pieces together, including what you felt and the meaning of the event to you and to the people around you. Talk about the question of guilt and responsibility. This may help you later in reconstructing a system of belief that makes sense of undeserved suffering.
As you tell your story, some of you may feel a great deal of anxiety. This is when you stop and use relaxation techniques to help manage strong emotions. Once you feel in control, you can continue where you left off or return to it on another day.

For your journal exercise for Step Two write a script describing the event in detail. This description should include the context of the situation, facts, emotions, and meaning. If there were several events, develop a separate script for each one. Don’t be surprised if new memories are recovered as you explore old ones. Write down everything you feel about the situation and the person causing you pain. Allow a stream of consciousness to flow across the pages of your journal and spare nothing. Remember that this is your private journal for no one else to see. After you have written everything down, ask yourself, “If I were face to face with this person, what would I say?” Let out the anger and the hurt in what you write and keep on writing until there is nothing left to say.

Reflection: For this week’s forgiveness activity for Step Two reflect on these questions. Why did this situation happen to me? Why did this situation happen to the others included? Please share your thoughts on www.facebook.com/7steps to forgiveness, twitter @erborris or www.linkedin.com/in/dreileenborris

As always, I am interested in hearing about your experience and welcome all your comments, so please feel free to share your thoughts on this blog. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
For more information on learning how to forgive go to “Finding Forgiveness: A 7-Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness” by Eileen R. Borris-Dunchunstang

 


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Make Forgiveness a New Year Resolution for a Happier You!

The holidays are family time and for some, being with family can trigger stress and bring up issues of the past. Family ties are important so learning how to have healthier and happier relationships with family members can go a long way. Being able to forgive ourselves and one another is an essential element in developing healthy relationships and so I invite you to join in a forgiveness campaign for the next 8 weeks to learn what forgiveness is and how to do it. I hope people will share their stories about forgiveness, their struggles and successes, learn what forgiveness truly means and how a little willingness to forgive can help to release the emotional burdens which keeps us from connecting on a deeper level with one another and having peace of mind.

A story that I would like to share is concerning the bombing of the Murrah Federal Building which took place in Oklahoma City, April 19, 1995. Bud Welch whose twenty-three -year -old daughter was killed in that bombing. Welch’s words were “Fry those bastards!” I want Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols hanged, no trials necessary. “From that moment I learned it was a bomb, I survived on hate.”

Bud’s anger was focused on Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols, and like so many others, Bud wished for their speedy conviction and execution. When he saw McVeigh’s father on television a few months after the bombing, however, his emotions began to change. He realized that “this man has lost a child, too.”

Not all of us could come to this conclusion so quickly. What did Bud Welch know that most of us might not if we found ourselves in a similar situation? Before Bud could get to this place of recognizing that both fathers were dealing with a painful loss, he had to deal with his personal healing.

Bud eventually arranged to meet with Timothy McVeigh’s father, Bill. “I saw a deep pain in a father’s eye, but also an incredible love for his son.” I was able to tell him that I truly understood the pain that he was going through, and that he – as I – was a victim of what happened in Oklahoma City.
What Bud was able to accomplish you, too, will be able to do if you choose to. The journey begins with understanding what forgiveness with all its complexities truly means.

Throughout our lives most of us have been taught about forgiveness. Each one of us thinks differently about what forgiveness means, ranging from emotional weakness to high moral standards. To be able to forgive, we need to understand what forgiveness means. Otherwise, our misconceptions can become obstacles in our ability to forgive.
Forgiveness is a process that shows us how to heal emotional pain by choosing to see the person who caused the pain differently. It is about changing the way we think about ourselves and the way we see the world. Forgiveness is an essential part of our healing, enabling us to release our anger, pain and suffering. As we learn to forgive and heal our emotional pain. We begin to experience the gift of inner peace.

Ultimately, forgiveness is about changing the way we think. Its transformational power moves us from being helpless victims of our circumstances to powerful co-creators of our reality. We learn to see people anew every day in terms of their future potential, not their past deeds. In becoming more loving, compassionate and understanding human beings, we gain the ability to have a deeper relationship with ourselves and with the significant people in our lives and we will know true peace.

 


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Another Brexit Surprise? Salvaging Peace in Colombia after 52 Years of Conflict

erborris_colombia-voteThe vote to reject the peace agreement with the FARC and the Colombian government has been compared to the fallout from the United Kingdom’s “Brexit” referendum.  The rejection was totally unexpected and the failure to ratify the peace agreement has left Colombian President Juan Manuel Santos and the government of Colombia and the leadership of the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (known as the FARC) uncertain as to the future of the peace deal which has taken four years of negotiations.

By Dr. Eileen Borris    –  @ERBorris  –    http://DrBorris.com

(Scottsdale, AZ – October 4, 2016) Colombians vote NO!  The vote was rejected by the slimmest of margins 50.2% No versus 49.8% to approve the peace agreement.  This shocking development has people wondering what will happen next sending the rebels and the Colombian government back to the drawing board.  President Juan Manuel Santos is sending Humberto de la Calle, Colombia’s Chief Negotiator, back to Havana to continue negotiations with the leadership of the FARC including Rodrigo “Timochenko” Londoño, the Leader of the FARC.

“The desire for peace is universal and unanimous,” said de la Calle.  “I will continue pursuing the objective of peace in what remains of my life.”

It has been estimated that 250,000 were killed in the 52-year conflict which displaced as many as 8 million people.   Despite reaching the peace agreement, the issue that was the most contentious was the issue of justice.  In the weeks leading up to Sunday’s vote, many Colombians were angered by what they saw as insufficient punishment for those who committed a variety of crimes against their people. Out of more than 13 million votes cast, a margin of less than 54,000 votes decided the defeat of the peace initiative.

How did the majority of Colombia view justice?  Those who voted “no” are holding on to a very narrow view of justice, thinking of justice in a very punitive way. They felt the FARC deserved a lot more jail time and not the minimal jail time proposed in the peace agreement.

re·stor·a·tive jus·tice


noun
a system of criminal justice that focuses on the rehabilitation of offenders through reconciliation with victims and the community at large.

Despite historic peace deal, over half of Colombia was not ready for an alternative form of justice – restorative justice that focuses on the victims by proposing punishments such as community service and restitution, rather than simply putting perpetrators in prison. At the same time, it attempts to bring armed combatants back into society. That may help avoid what has happened in the past – in both Colombia and elsewhere – when former combatants were unable to find new job skills or build homes and returned to organized violence.

Forgiveness sometimes comes at a high price.  For many Colombians, the FARC’s past crimes are too much to forgive. President Santos, who focused so much of his energy in ending the war, is unpopular at home which possibly hurt the acceptance of the peace accords. Former President Alvaro Uribe, who led the “no” campaign, was very opposed to the peace accord especially given that his father was killed by members of the FARC. He garnered many supporters to his side. Others have challenged the legality of the peace agreements especially where it concerned the guaranteed seats in the Colombian Congress for the FARC.

Why should the US care about what happened in Colombia?  Anger is being expressed on the streets of Colombia.  The cease-fire with the FARC is delicate at best.  Peace negotiations have been going on for decades.  Does this sound familiar?  In Colombia, there is so much anger that has not been addressed in an effort to heal this nation, employ multi-track diplomacy, and move forward with peace initiatives. There is a lesson here in the United States. If we don’t start addressing the anger felt by so many Americans, peace will be elusive in this country.

There is a lesson to be learned about the meaning of justice as well. Just like the Colombians, people in the US are crying out for justice, but what kind of justice are they really calling for? Are we just calling out for punishment, looking through a narrow lens of what justice stands for or is there something we can learn about restorative justice? Holding onto an inflexible understanding of justice does not lead to a transformation of the conflict. The way people think needs to become more flexible so that the voices of everyone can be heard and adapted to what is feasible and realistic in the process of resolving the conflict.

Clearly there is a rocky road ahead. In a society where violence has been embedded in its DNA for the last 50 years, and where violence is expected, this monumental shift in what has just happened has caught the attention of all those involved, taking Colombians down a new path in their history. The unpredictability of the situation could still lead to the opening of the doors of hope where forgiveness can take the place of anger with a forward motion towards a peace and reconciliation process in the next phase of Colombian history.  Colombia cannot stay in limbo for very long.

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ABOUT Dr. Eileen Borris

IMG_5070_ppe1INTERNATIONALLY RECOGNIZED AS THE WORLD’S LEADING EXPERT ON THE HEALING OF NATIONS, POLITICAL FORGIVENESS, AND MULTI-TRACK DIPLOMACY.

For over three decades, Dr. Eileen Borris has stood on the front lines of forgiveness from the personal to the political. A renowned psychologist and consultant, Dr. Borris rebuilds countries by ending the cycles of abuse and revenge from centuries past. She leads the charge by training high profile individuals and groups including diplomats, peacekeepers, and humanitarian organizations.  Dr. Borris has been invited to create and instruct peace-building programs in more than fifteen of the most unstable and war-torn countries. She has taught at the most prestigious universities in the world, including Thunderbird School of Global Management, where she works today, delivered multiple addresses to the United Nations, and has written two highly acclaimed books on the topic of forgiveness. A native New Yorker, Eileen Borris received both her Masters degree (1972) and her doctorate in psychology (1985) from Columbia University. @ERBorris DrBorris@DrBorris.com
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BBC Video Coverage


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Tibetan school hosts talk on “Freedom Through Forgiveness” by Dr. Eileen Borris

story4-1
His Holiness, the Dalai Lama with Mr. Richard Moore

Dharamsala: It was a momentous day for the Tibetan Children’s Village School in Dharamsala as it hosted a talk entitled, “Freedom Through Forgiveness,” by the man who His Holiness, the Dalai Lama considers “not only his friend but also his hero.” It was also a very memorable occasion for all, that a man left totally blind by another person shared a common dais in an exemplary spirit of forgiveness and reconciliation.

His Holiness created this special occasion, a community celebration as it were, for the Tibetan children, though Mr. Moore and Mr. Inness had only sought a private audience. His Holiness the Dalai Lama ushered Mr. Richard Moore, a blind Irish gentleman and Mr. Charles Inness, a former British soldier, into the TCV school auditorium in Mcleodganj near Dharmshala with thunderous applause by over 2,500 school children and other participants.

story4-2Mr. Charles Inness, Mr. Richard Moore and His Holiness, the Dalai Lama Richard, at the age of 10, was hit on the face by a rubber bullet fired by Charles, a British soldier, when he was walking home from Rosemount Primary School in Derry in Northern Ireland with his friends on May 4, 1972. “Every thing went blank,” he said later when he woke up on the school canteen table.

In an extraordinary turn of events, on January 14, 2006, Richard flew to Edinburgh to meet Charles, who had gone into deep shock and sadness after learning about what happened. Charles explained that he had shot the bullet to get stone throwers away.

In his address, His Holiness the Dalai Lama said: “The acts of terrorism are caused by feelings of anger, hatred and animosity. The sense of forgiveness and humanity shown by Richard Moore is an example for the world to learn to overcome such negative emotions. The human beings must resolve the source of conflicts such as anger and hatred in order to promote non-violence and peace.”

story4-3His Holiness honoured Richard with a citation for showing a true practice of forgiveness and compassion as a wonderful model to follow for the six billion people in this world. His Holiness also lauded Richard for his works to help vulnerable children around the world through his charity, Children of Crossfire.

2,500 school children and other participants at the talk In his emotional speech, Charles said: “I was absolutely appalled, shocked and devastated by what had happened to Mr. Richard Moore. I was deeply grieved for the rest of my life after the tragic incident.”

“Despite facing the unimaginable tragic and horrific experience, Richard has made a very successful life and I am very honoured and privileged to have him as a great friend for the rest of my life,” Charles said.

Mr. Moore first met His Holiness the Dalai Lama during the latter’s visit to Derry in 2000. They met again when His Holiness returned a few years later, and again in 2007 on the 10th founding anniversary of the Children of Crossfire charity during which His Holiness called Mr. Richard Moore his “hero.”


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Is there a Typical Homegrown Terrorist?

Is there a Typical Homegrown Terrorist?

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Terrorism is like a cancer of the soul of humanity. It is metastasizing everywhere. This year we have seen what terrorism has done in Syria creating the world’s greatest refugee crisis and now we have seen terrorism in San Bernardino and most recently in Orlando, Florida. What prompts an American citizen to succumb to ISIS ideology and to act out by killing innocent people. Perhaps it is not what we think.

Homegrown terrorism or domestic terrorism is commonly associated with violent acts committed by citizens or permanent residents of a state against their own people or property within that state without foreign influence in an effort to instill fear on a population or government as a tactic designed to advance political, religious, or ideological objectives. The definition of homegrown terrorism includes what is normally considered domestic terrorism. Since the September 11 attacks in the United States, and U.S. military actions in Afghanistan and Iraq, the term has often been applied to violence that is perpetrated against people or property by their own citizens or permanent residents of a state under jurisdiction of that state in order to promote political, religious, or ideological objectives. Domestic terrorists have identical, or nearly so, means of militarily and ideologically carrying on their fight without necessarily having a centralized command structure regardless of whether the source of inspiration is domestic, foreign, or transnational.

The Congressional Research Service report, American Jihadist Terrorism: Combatting a Complex Threat, describes homegrown terrorism as a “terrorist activity or plots perpetuated within the United States or abroad by American citizens, permanent legal residents, or visitors radicalized largely within the United States.”

Under the 2001 USA Patriot Act, domestic terrorism is defined as “activities that (A) involve acts dangerous to human life that are a violation of the criminal laws of the U.S. or of any state; (B) appear to be intended (i) to intimidate or coerce a civilian population; (ii) to influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion; or (iii) to affect the conduct of a government by mass destruction, assassination, or kidnapping; and (C) occur primarily within the territorial jurisdiction of the U.S.”

We know that the Internet and social media have been used to radicalize and recruit Americans but is there a typical pattern found as to why an American-born person would become a jihadi? Peter Bergen, the national security analyst for CNN and author of “United States of Jihad” has spent two and a half years researching this. What he has found is that the more you look at each individual case, the more individual the case becomes. His research has shown that it is not about someone necessarily following a bin Ladenist ideology but more about one’s personal life and what may be lacking in it. Sometimes personal disappointments or inner conflicts drive someone’s behavior. Perhaps it is a need for recognition to fill a very empty life, or a need to belong somewhere or to something like a cause. And although horrific crimes are committed, mental illness is found to be lower than what is found in the general public. It takes quite a bit of planning to pull off a terrorist attack.

If anything, what you are really looking at is someone coming from the middle-class. They are not necessarily young hotheaded people that we might imagine them to be. On the contrary many are married, with kids, and in their late 20s. We have seen this with one of the attackers in the San Bernardino shooting who was 28, married, with a child. The male perpetrator had a job earning $70,000 a year. They were very much solidly part of the American middle class. So why did they turn to violence and kill 14 people just arbitrarily? It truly is a mystery which may never be explained. Perhaps we need to understand the nature of evil itself and even that would be difficult to understand no less predict when it would rear its ugly head.


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Dr. Eileen Borris Offers Journalists Workshops For Conflict Sensitive Journalism

Conflict Sensitive Journalism and Multi-Track Diplomacy Training Program

Ali Rezaian sits next to a photo showing his brother, Washington Post reporter Jason Rezaian, and their mother, during a House Committee on Foreign Affairs hearing for families with relatives jailed in Iran. (AP/Jacquelyn Martin)

Ali Rezaian sits next to a photo showing his brother, Washington Post reporter Jason Rezaian, and their mother, during a House Committee on Foreign Affairs hearing for families with relatives jailed in Iran. (AP/Jacquelyn Martin)

Good journalism is difficult work during the best of times. However, when working in areas threatened by violent conflict journalists face greater difficulties including personal risk. This is evident around the world, most recently in Turkey where there are more journalists in prison than any other place in this world.

With conflict and violence being reported around the world, how it is reported will influence the situation at hand. What is reported can either become part of the problem or part of the solution. This is a training program designed to strengthen the skills of professional journalists working in conflict sensitive areas to enable them to analyze conflicts objectively without inflaming the conflict and to be aware of how their reporting influences the conflict. The training includes exploration of conflict resolution possibilities as an integral part of objective reporting. It covers techniques for improved reporting on conflict, pitfalls to avoid, and specific challenges facing journalists reporting on violent conflict such as reflecting gender sensitivity, dealing with hate speech and recognizing trauma.

A record number of journalists are behind bars in China, and the number of journalists jailed in Turkey and Egypt also rose dramatically in 2015, the Committee to Protect Journalists (CPJ) has found. Overall, the number of journalists imprisoned around the world declined modestly from record levels recorded in the past three years. The CPJ identified 199 journalists in prison because of their work in 2015, compared with 221 the previous year. Iran, Vietnam, and Ethiopia were among those countries holding fewer journalists prisoner, but in all three countries a climate of fear for the media persists, with many of those released continuing to face legal charges or harsh restrictions, including forced exile­.

Perhaps nowhere has the climate for the press deteriorated more rapidly than in Egypt, now the second worst jailer of journalists worldwide. President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi continues to use the pretext of national security to clamp down on dissent. Cairo is holding 23 journalists in jail, compared with 12 a year ago. As recently as 2012, no journalists were in jail for their work in Egypt. Those behind bars include Ismail Alexandrani, a freelancer who focuses on the troubled Sinai Peninsula and who was recently arrested on arrival in Egypt from Germany. (Read detailed accounts of each prisoner here.)

Conditions for the media have also taken a turn for the worse in Turkey, which doubled the number of journalists in jail over the year to 14. The country released dozens of journalists in 2014 after being the world’s worst jailer for two consecutive years, but in 2015—amid two general elections, further entanglement in the Syrian civil war, and the end of a fragile ceasefire with fighters of the banned Kurdistan Workers’ Party (PKK)—fresh arrests make it the fifth worst jailer globally. Most recently, Can Dündar and Erdem Gül, senior staff members of independent daily Cumhuriyet, were arrested on charges of espionage and aiding an alleged terrorist group after publishing reports that alleged Turkey’s National Intelligence Organization (MIT) had transferred weapons to Syria under cover of humanitarian aid.

This is a three-day training program for journalists new to the field, mid-level journalists, and editors and producers working or reporting about conflict sensitive areas. Because this training program alternates between theory and practice there is a lot of interaction involving small group work. Therefore, twelve to eighteen participants will be accepted for the training program. A certificate will be given at the completion of the training.

The Presenter – Dr. Eileen Borris

Dr. Eileen Borris is a political psychologist and international expert on conflict resolution.
As a political psychologist, Dr. Borris was invited by the President of the General Assembly to offer her insights to the General Assembly. Her experiences helping to rebuild war torn countries such as Liberia, Nigeria, Nepal, Pakistan, India, Israel, and the Occupied Territories, qualified her speaking on the issues inherent in resolving conflict. She has worked in Indonesia for the United States Agency for International Development (USAID), developing conflict resolution and reconciliation programs, and throughout Liberia with the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP), implementing trauma healing programs.

Dr. Borris began her career as the Director of Training for the Institute for Multi-Track Diplomacy in Washington, DC. She is adjunct faculty at Thunderbird: School of Global Management, a unit of Arizona State University Knowledge Enterprise Office where she has taught global negotiation, cross cultural communication, conflict management and social change and international corporate diplomacy. She is involved with the Thunderbird for Good program where she trained a number of Afghan broadcasters working in conflict sensitive areas in conflict sensitive journalism and the role of media in multi-track diplomacy. Currently through the Thunderbird for Good Program Dr. Borris is working on a USAID funded project in Afghanistan jointly with the U.S. and Afghan governments that will work to empower 75,000 women focusing on promoting more effective advocacy for women’s equality and empowerment and implementation of public gender policies.