Powerful Women Changing Mindsets and Forging Political Forgiveness

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Commemorating International Women’s Day

Gloria Steinem, a world-renowned feminist once explained: “The story of women’s struggle for equality belongs to no single feminist nor to any one organization but to the collective efforts of all who care about human rights.” This is what International Women’s Day (IWD) commemorates. March 1911 was the birth of IWD, which was to be a day of collective global activism and celebration belonging to all those committed to forging women’s equality. It calls for breaking down barriers, challenging stereotypes and creating environments where all women are valued and respected. It encourages everyone to recognize the unique perspectives and contributions of women from all walks of life, including those from marginalized communities. And it celebrates women from around the world who are powerful change agents making this world a much better place for all of us.

Marina Cantacuzino and The Forgiveness Project

To celebrate IWD, I’ve written about some extraordinary women who not only understand what inclusion means but who work toward countering divisive attitudes — an important factor in a political forgiveness process. One only needs to think about what took place on October 7, 2023, when the world woke up to the horrors of Hamas’ brutal attack on Israel to witness “us and them” rhetoric. Marina Cantacuzino is founder of The Forgiveness Project. She has interviewed the families of terrorist victims and survivors of domestic violence, and through the project provides resources and experiences to overcome their unresolved grievances, helps people bear witness to the resilience of the human spirit, which acts as a powerful antidote to narratives of hate and dehumanization. 

Aware of the pain people were feeling, Marina reached out to a friend, Israeli filmmaker Yulie Cohen to make sure she was OK. As recounted in the Forgiveness Project article, Clinging Onto Hope, Yulie replied, “Your  email is very meaningful for me; many people whom I know and know me well through the years and my films didn’t write a word and it says it all.”  Marina understood the importance of reaching out and she understood through her own work how important it is to know others and change mindsets towards those we once considered “an enemy.”

Yulie Cohen Meets Her Attacker Years Later

Yulie Cohen has her own remarkable story about changing mindset as she was able to forgive a Palestinian who tried to kill her. In 1978 Cohen, while a student at Tel Aviv University, worked that summer as a flight attendant. In one of her flights to London Yulia was getting off the bus in front of her hotel when she saw a man across the street looking quite hatefully at her. He was Palestinian. She started to get some distance from him and in a matter of seconds saw the man pull out a machine gun and started to shoot people around him only to be followed a few moments later with him throwing hand grenades, killing one person, wounding another, and leaving a small piece of shrapnel in the arm of a very traumatized Yulie. 

Years later, after receiving a master’s in communication arts, Yulia started working on films in New York City and Los Angeles. One of her films involved filming a Palestinian man who she found very interesting and intelligent. Getting to know him brought back the trauma of what happened years earlier when Yulie feared for her life. This man she admired so much was of the same age and from the same political group as the man who shot at her. Yulia realized that the Palestinian man she had such respect for could have easily been the person who tried to kill her, yet instead he was her friend. This sparked a desire in Yulia to look for the man who shot at her, her own “terrorist” and asked a British colleague to look for him in England. Two weeks later he was found in prison. Yulia wanted to meet him and decided to write a letter asking about himself and his childhood and told him that she was a sixth-generation born Israeli, never thought of Arabs as people she should hate, nor thought of them as “enemies.” 

Then she asked: Why did he join the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP)? And why did he shoot at Israelis? He answered her right away, full of remorse, wanting to talk to her, and said how grateful he would be if Yulia would continue to write to him. He then asked Yulia if she would be willing to meet him in prison. Nervous about entering a prison Yulia marshaled bravery to visit him, and with her first encounter recognized this man as a human being, just like her, a man who only yearned for a good life and to have a family.

When they met in the streets of London they were both 22. When they met up again in prison, Yulia had a life and, although coping with trauma, she also had a family, a career and a master’s degree. This man in prison was on his own, had no family, no friends, no nothing. Yulia could see that he had changed, that he was a person taking responsibility for his mistakes. 

When Yulia left the prison, she realized that she was a different person. She felt a profound change take place within herself, something too hard to put into words. In retrospect Yulia recognized that she had faced one of her deepest fears: This Palestinian man that she mustered the courage to see represented those deepest fears — but when she faced him, to her surprise, she was able to let go of a lot of anger and hostility. Going to that prison, more than anything, else was difficult for Yulia. She recognized that she was on this incredible journey and, although she has more work to do to, Yulia experienced the life-changing power of forgiveness. The impact of this experience was so great for Yulia that now she speaks of the importance of forgiveness, encouraging others who have gone through painful experiences to consider the possibility of forgiveness and understanding, and that with this comes inner peace only forgiveness can bring.

Mary Noble, Co-Founder of Feminenza International

There have been other exceptional women who, through their own pain, forged a path towards forgiveness. Mary Noble, co-founder of Feminenza International, an organization whose focus is on empowering women and helping women discover their strengths and capabilities, is aware of the importance of forgiveness in personal lives as well as in helping communities recover from bloodshed and atrocities. She recognizes that one of the most important issues facing humanity is how to live with one another, and for Noble that can only happen through the human heart and soul, which we can access through the work of forgiveness. 

Forgiveness, as Noble recounts in this video, comes from a higher intelligence, which allows us to become stronger and more immune to the pain of human heritage. According to Noble the practice of forgiveness helps build our “higher” immunity and a mindset that allows us to stop scratching our wounds, clearing a new pathway in our mind, which is the remedial balm of forgiveness. The power of forgiveness can help us find relief from what has happened to us, that which we cannot change, and build something better.

In 2010 Feminenza International ran a pilot program for training grassroots women as forgiveness and reconciliation counselors in Kenya, funded by UN Women, a United Nations entity for gender equality and the empowerment of women. This particular year the People2People initiative took place in the Rift Valley, Kenya in 2010–2011, following the post election violence in 2007–2008, training 20 women leaders to become forgiveness and reconciliation counselors. It enabled grassroots women in the communities most at risk to reach across party and tribal lines to secure peace and security, to play a decisive role in conflict mitigation, and to grow the inner development to help individuals and groups re-humanize each other. They learned how to foster empathy and mutual understanding, build trust, and create healthy relationships as a basis for long term reconciliation. 

Twenty rural women activists each conducted their own community peace intervention project in Nakuru, Kericho, Borabu, Sotik, Kisii, Burnt Forest, Mt. Elgon, Pokot, and Turkana, according to this report. They were assisted with training and mentoring about fear management, forgiveness, project planning and accountability, and media strategy. The community impact was considerable, with 5,000 confirmed beneficiaries and independently verifiable outcomes. The women leaders trained still substantially contribute to the cohesion and security of their communities. Some of them help in training programs, others have become board members of Feminenza Kenya. 

These three women and countless others have been working tirelessly to help heal the hearts of humanity. They also understand the importance of changing mindsets — especially their own — and how this leads to the practice of forgiveness in one’s personal life and within any political forgiveness process. Forgiveness is true human work and is the remedy to making our world a better place. Without forgiveness humanity will not survive. 

Braver Angels: A Political Forgiveness Model in Action

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“We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will yet sell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be by the better angels of our nature.” — Abraham Lincoln

With our country so divided and polarized it seems hard to imagine that we can ever come back together again as a nation. A political forgiveness process can help us stitch together the torn fabric of our society by offering a process on an individual, community, and national level, focusing on the lowering of anger and intolerance and the fostering of empathy and forgiveness. It is a process whereby parties in conflict make a commitment to one another to limit hostility, move on from the past, and rebuild communities and, hopefully, nations. An aspect of a political forgiveness process is building trust between antagonistic groups. This includes addressing affective political polarization, the phenomenon where individuals’ feelings and emotions towards members of their own political party or group become more positive, while their feelings towards members of the opposing party or group become more negative. Affective political polarization erodes trust in each other and in our institutions, producing policy gridlock, eroding civil society, and lowering the caliber of our citizenship. 

Affective political polarization has been on the rise long before the 2016 election where belief has grown that political opponents are not only wrong in what they think and believe — they have become enemies. Braver Angels, an organization whose mission is to bring Americans together to bridge the partisan divide and strengthen our democratic republic, focuses on building civic trust and healing the wounds between left and right. Their work was inspired by the words of Abraham Lincoln, who not only called on Americans to summon the “better angels” of our nature — but called on us to find the courage needed to pursue a more perfect union, “with malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right.” We do need more courage, and more bravery to be willing to come together and work together, even when we disagree, and it is Braver Angels that makes this happen.

Tips for Depolarization

Braver Angel’s inception took place in December 2016 when co-founders David Blankenhorn, Bill Doherty, and David Lapp came together with a remarkable idea for bringing people together as the country was going through one of the most divisive elections in US history. They brought together 10 Trump supporters and 11 Clinton supporters in South Lebanon, Ohio to participate in a workshop that was to become the first Red/Blue Workshop. Their goal was simple. They wanted to see if Americans could still disagree respectfully — and just maybe, find common ground. There were skeptics who believed this could not happen, and the skeptics were proven wrong. The workshop succeeded and those who began the process recognized this was only the beginning. This was the beginning of the organization originally known as Better Angels. Word spread and by 2019 Better Angels, now called Braver Angels, became the leader of a movement not only to de-polarize politics but to “re-imagine” what it meant to be an American. 

In the Red/Blue Workshop, 5–8 Republican-leaning citizens (“Reds”) and 5–8 Democratic-leaning citizens (“Blues”) gather together for a half day or full day of structured conversations. Independents are also welcome to attend but are asked that, for the purposes of the workshop, they identify as leaning either Red or Blue or participate as observers. The purpose of the workshop is to better understand the experiences and beliefs of those on the other side of the political divide, to see if there are areas of commonality in addition to differences, and to learn something that might be helpful to others in our community and the nation.

After a brief introduction and discussion of the ground rules, participants then get involved in several different exercises such as a stereotype exercise where they divide into Red and Blue groups to discuss and report back on the most common false stereotypes or misconceptions of their side, why these stereotypes are wrong, what is true instead, and whether there is a kernel of truth in the stereotype. Other workshops include The Depolarizing Within Workshop designed to foster skills to lessen the effects of polarization when you encounter them in your political conversations. The Families and Politics Workshop gives strategies and skills for handling family political differences in a constructive way, and Race Conversations enable participants to talk about race in an inquisitive, non-judgmental way. Their Braver Politics Initiatives takes the philosophy and mission of Braver Angels and applies it in a political setting, involving politicians and their staff by engaging them in Red/Blue Workshops tailored to their needs.

There are several key findings worth mentioning as the result of the workshop. Eighty-two percent of Braver Angels participants feel more comfortable with people on the opposite political side. Eighty-six percent feel they understand the other, and 71 percent feel understood by the other side. Eighty-eight percent have a better handle on their inner polarizer and 81 percent feel prepared to apply their new skills. 

Braver Angels describes a political forgiveness model in action. They work with individuals, communities, and on a national level doing transformative work, which is the focus of political forgiveness. What if we applied the principles of forgiveness to this work? Will it deepen the healing process and help build a culture of political forgiveness? This is the intention of the “Healing Hate in America” project which is in the development stages working with Braver Angels, and which combines the teaching of forgiveness in a dialogue and an experiential process with the focus of bringing people together to heal hate in our country. There is great work being done in this country, work focusing on what can unite us. All of us can get involved with this work, and find hope.

Inequality, Polarization, and the Importance of Casting Your Vote

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Inequality and polarization are plaguing our society, ripping apart the fabric of this nation. It is not an isolated problem and all of us are part of this and need to take responsibility for where we are. What are we going to do about it? Vote. Simply vote. We all need to exercise our democratic right to cast our ballots on November 8th in the midterm elections and vote for what is important to each of us. Vote your conscience, vote for the change you want to see happen. Is it a change in politics, a different kind of society? You vote for what you want to see reflected in the country we live in. This is your democratic right, and indeed, your responsibility.

This is an important time in our country right now. It doesn’t matter what side of the aisle you are on, you need to have your voice heard. To not exercise that right is to be complicit in a faltering democracy and to agree with the status quo. One thing hopefully we can agree on, regardless of politics, is the importance of bringing people back together, healing the division in our country and making sure that we are electing people representing community interests and that those elected to positions of power are working to make society better for all of us. Democracy just doesn’t happen. We consciously need to think about what we want and actively build democracy up and preserve it. Democracy cannot exist if people just accept the status quo and don’t participate in it. If we don’t take part, we are at risk of losing it. This is what makes our country different from authoritarian types of government where people are just told and/or coerced into doing what is preferable for those in charge.

What does it mean to be in a democracy and what are our responsibilities as citizens participating in a democratic government? Clearly, voting is a primary way of participating in a democracy but we can’t stop there. We can also have our voices heard when we contact our senators, congressmen and women and State officials to tell them how we feel and outline our concerns about issues important to us. The people we elect are elected to represent each of us, not just those that voted for them on the ballot paper but all those in the locality, State or country. This is a profound responsibility and it is up to each of us to ensure that these elected officials are representing us in the right way and are held to account where necessary.

The importance of voting and the environment in which this midterm is of significant importance. There is deep political polarization, division, and contempt for the ‘other’. We have choices to make. Do we want to keep things the way they are, do we want more of what is happening, or do we want to move back a bit from the brink of what is currently taking place in our country? For change to take place we need to choose people who are going to represent our communities with an open mind, want to work with others where progress can be achieved, and are willing to take us down a different and more inclusive path. That is the choice we will have to make on November 8th. 

Our country is unique because of the rights we have that democracy affords us. These rights are not universal. There are places where you can’t vote, or your vote is not counted or your vote doesn’t matter or your vote cannot have an impact on society. This is not the case in the United States. The action of voting is so important, something that we need to cherish and something we certainly do not want to lose. Every American citizen has a right to vote and should be encouraged and allowed to vote. No US citizen has more of a right to vote than another and we should all embrace that right. It does not matter if you are voting Republican or Democrat, from a red state or a blue state, your right to vote is equal to anyone else’s right to vote.

Attempting to prevent others from voting who are legally entitled to vote would be denying them their rights in a democratic society. What happens on November 8th will impact the course of our nation over the next few years and beyond. If you don’t use your vote for what you truly want to see in your society, there is a good chance that your vote isn’t going to matter next time, or your vote will become irrelevant. This comes back to the idea of what a democracy is all about, and in the words of Abraham Lincoln when giving the Gettysburg Address, can we support a “government of the people, by the people, for the people, (which) shall not perish from the earth”. This is what our government was intended to be and therefore we should use our right to vote and seek the change that we are looking for.

Democracy is fragile, never more so than today, and many people may not truly understand what a democracy is or will have taken it for granted which is reflected when you don’t exercise your right to vote. What is implicit in this is that you are assuming that someone else is going to speak on your behalf and vote for the democracy you hold dear. We also need to think about how the actions of the politicians that we are voting for will affect our lives and the lives of the generations to come. To make an informed decision you have to know the facts and in order to know the facts you have to understand the source of information you are getting your facts from. Is it directly from the politicians themselves, from reliable sources where you can do your own fact-checking? It is sometimes hard to understand the truth of what is happening with all the noise, but it is all of your responsibility to do so. We can’t just listen to one source but we need to find those unbiased resources to enable us to do our own critical thinking and not let others decide for us. This is what is meant to participate in a democracy and to be responsible citizens. 

It takes commitment and work on all our parts so we can make clear judgments as to what is taking place in our country so we can make the right choices for the greatest good for all citizens living in this country. This doesn’t come easy and for some, it may be easier to let someone else do this for us but we can’t afford to be complacent and allow others to think for ourselves. We need to gather facts and be willing to talk to others who may not hold our same views to get a broader understanding of what may be best for all of us. This is what it means to actively participate in a democracy. We should recognize this as a privilege and something none of us should take for granted. A young democracy like ours is delicate and needs to be nurtured in healthy ways for it to grow in the ways it is meant to, an inclusive one which hears everyone’s voice and takes in the needs and concerns of all citizens here in the United States. If we allow this to grow and flourish then we will have a healthy democracy, a strong country that allows everyone to have a good life. 

When we truly understand the power of equality, we will all want to make sure that this is given to every one of us. When we recognize that we are all in this together and that by understanding and respecting one another we grow together in transformative ways. This is what truly makes our country great. We want to be able to live our lives in the way we want to live them, and to have the right to make our own decisions that will impact our families and our way of life. To do this we need to think, make our voices heard and of course get out and vote!