Powerful Women Changing Mindsets and Forging Political Forgiveness

Commemorating International Women’s Day

Gloria Steinem, a world-renowned feminist once explained: “The story of women’s struggle for equality belongs to no single feminist nor to any one organization but to the collective efforts of all who care about human rights.” This is what International Women’s Day (IWD) commemorates. March 1911 was the birth of IWD, which was to be a day of collective global activism and celebration belonging to all those committed to forging women’s equality. It calls for breaking down barriers, challenging stereotypes and creating environments where all women are valued and respected. It encourages everyone to recognize the unique perspectives and contributions of women from all walks of life, including those from marginalized communities. And it celebrates women from around the world who are powerful change agents making this world a much better place for all of us.

Marina Cantacuzino and The Forgiveness Project

To celebrate IWD, I’ve written about some extraordinary women who not only understand what inclusion means but who work toward countering divisive attitudes — an important factor in a political forgiveness process. One only needs to think about what took place on October 7, 2023, when the world woke up to the horrors of Hamas’ brutal attack on Israel to witness “us and them” rhetoric. Marina Cantacuzino is founder of The Forgiveness Project. She has interviewed the families of terrorist victims and survivors of domestic violence, and through the project provides resources and experiences to overcome their unresolved grievances, helps people bear witness to the resilience of the human spirit, which acts as a powerful antidote to narratives of hate and dehumanization. 

Aware of the pain people were feeling, Marina reached out to a friend, Israeli filmmaker Yulie Cohen to make sure she was OK. As recounted in the Forgiveness Project article, Clinging Onto Hope, Yulie replied, “Your  email is very meaningful for me; many people whom I know and know me well through the years and my films didn’t write a word and it says it all.”  Marina understood the importance of reaching out and she understood through her own work how important it is to know others and change mindsets towards those we once considered “an enemy.”

Yulie Cohen Meets Her Attacker Years Later

Yulie Cohen has her own remarkable story about changing mindset as she was able to forgive a Palestinian who tried to kill her. In 1978 Cohen, while a student at Tel Aviv University, worked that summer as a flight attendant. In one of her flights to London Yulia was getting off the bus in front of her hotel when she saw a man across the street looking quite hatefully at her. He was Palestinian. She started to get some distance from him and in a matter of seconds saw the man pull out a machine gun and started to shoot people around him only to be followed a few moments later with him throwing hand grenades, killing one person, wounding another, and leaving a small piece of shrapnel in the arm of a very traumatized Yulie. 

Years later, after receiving a master’s in communication arts, Yulia started working on films in New York City and Los Angeles. One of her films involved filming a Palestinian man who she found very interesting and intelligent. Getting to know him brought back the trauma of what happened years earlier when Yulie feared for her life. This man she admired so much was of the same age and from the same political group as the man who shot at her. Yulia realized that the Palestinian man she had such respect for could have easily been the person who tried to kill her, yet instead he was her friend. This sparked a desire in Yulia to look for the man who shot at her, her own “terrorist” and asked a British colleague to look for him in England. Two weeks later he was found in prison. Yulia wanted to meet him and decided to write a letter asking about himself and his childhood and told him that she was a sixth-generation born Israeli, never thought of Arabs as people she should hate, nor thought of them as “enemies.” 

Then she asked: Why did he join the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP)? And why did he shoot at Israelis? He answered her right away, full of remorse, wanting to talk to her, and said how grateful he would be if Yulia would continue to write to him. He then asked Yulia if she would be willing to meet him in prison. Nervous about entering a prison Yulia marshaled bravery to visit him, and with her first encounter recognized this man as a human being, just like her, a man who only yearned for a good life and to have a family.

When they met in the streets of London they were both 22. When they met up again in prison, Yulia had a life and, although coping with trauma, she also had a family, a career and a master’s degree. This man in prison was on his own, had no family, no friends, no nothing. Yulia could see that he had changed, that he was a person taking responsibility for his mistakes. 

When Yulia left the prison, she realized that she was a different person. She felt a profound change take place within herself, something too hard to put into words. In retrospect Yulia recognized that she had faced one of her deepest fears: This Palestinian man that she mustered the courage to see represented those deepest fears — but when she faced him, to her surprise, she was able to let go of a lot of anger and hostility. Going to that prison, more than anything, else was difficult for Yulia. She recognized that she was on this incredible journey and, although she has more work to do to, Yulia experienced the life-changing power of forgiveness. The impact of this experience was so great for Yulia that now she speaks of the importance of forgiveness, encouraging others who have gone through painful experiences to consider the possibility of forgiveness and understanding, and that with this comes inner peace only forgiveness can bring.

Mary Noble, Co-Founder of Feminenza International

There have been other exceptional women who, through their own pain, forged a path towards forgiveness. Mary Noble, co-founder of Feminenza International, an organization whose focus is on empowering women and helping women discover their strengths and capabilities, is aware of the importance of forgiveness in personal lives as well as in helping communities recover from bloodshed and atrocities. She recognizes that one of the most important issues facing humanity is how to live with one another, and for Noble that can only happen through the human heart and soul, which we can access through the work of forgiveness. 

Forgiveness, as Noble recounts in this video, comes from a higher intelligence, which allows us to become stronger and more immune to the pain of human heritage. According to Noble the practice of forgiveness helps build our “higher” immunity and a mindset that allows us to stop scratching our wounds, clearing a new pathway in our mind, which is the remedial balm of forgiveness. The power of forgiveness can help us find relief from what has happened to us, that which we cannot change, and build something better.

In 2010 Feminenza International ran a pilot program for training grassroots women as forgiveness and reconciliation counselors in Kenya, funded by UN Women, a United Nations entity for gender equality and the empowerment of women. This particular year the People2People initiative took place in the Rift Valley, Kenya in 2010–2011, following the post election violence in 2007–2008, training 20 women leaders to become forgiveness and reconciliation counselors. It enabled grassroots women in the communities most at risk to reach across party and tribal lines to secure peace and security, to play a decisive role in conflict mitigation, and to grow the inner development to help individuals and groups re-humanize each other. They learned how to foster empathy and mutual understanding, build trust, and create healthy relationships as a basis for long term reconciliation. 

Twenty rural women activists each conducted their own community peace intervention project in Nakuru, Kericho, Borabu, Sotik, Kisii, Burnt Forest, Mt. Elgon, Pokot, and Turkana, according to this report. They were assisted with training and mentoring about fear management, forgiveness, project planning and accountability, and media strategy. The community impact was considerable, with 5,000 confirmed beneficiaries and independently verifiable outcomes. The women leaders trained still substantially contribute to the cohesion and security of their communities. Some of them help in training programs, others have become board members of Feminenza Kenya. 

These three women and countless others have been working tirelessly to help heal the hearts of humanity. They also understand the importance of changing mindsets — especially their own — and how this leads to the practice of forgiveness in one’s personal life and within any political forgiveness process. Forgiveness is true human work and is the remedy to making our world a better place. Without forgiveness humanity will not survive. 

The Reverend and the Grand Dragon

February is Black History Month. It is a time of remembrance and celebration, a remembrance of part of our national history that we all may need to learn more about, and a celebration of the wonderful contributions African Americans have given our country. This month gives us an opportunity to reconcile with our past and celebrate the amazing Black Americans who have added so much richness to our country.

While we still are working toward racial justice, there are inspiring stories that shine a light on bravery and perseverance, stories that show when people can begin to question their basic values, we can change and experience and learn new things. The following story about the Echo Theater is a reminder that we can acknowledge and admit wrongs, concede failures, hear people more clearly, and seek forgiveness. When we see injustice, we are obligated to act — and just as a person’s values can change so can a nation.

An Unlikely Friendship

It would seem quite unusual for a former white supremacist Ku Klux Klan member and a Black Pastor to become close friends, but that is exactly what happened in Laurens, South Carolina. This was where Reverend David Kennedy, a Black Pastor, met the Grand Dragon of the local KKK, Michael Burden in 1996.

What was once a historically segregated movie theater, The Echo, became a white supremacist store, the Redneck Shop, which sold white nationalist and neo-Nazi paraphernalia owned by Michael Burden and John Howard. When the Redneck Shop opened in 1996, Reverend Kennedy fought continuously to have it closed and protested relentlessly outside, risking his life to stand up against hatred. Throughout the time of the shop’s existence, the building became the self-proclaimed “World’s Only Klan Museum” and the meeting spot for several white nationalist groups, including the National Socialist Movement (NSM), the largest neo-Nazi organization in the country, according to the Anti-Defamation League (CNN, 2021). When Kennedy stood up and fought against the store, he became a target for the KKK, putting his life, and the lives of those close to him, in jeopardy.

Opening the store was Burden’s idea, but he soon fell out with John Howard, and he and his family were struggling to get by. When Burden met his wife, he began questioning his affiliation with the KKK and his beliefs; he joined because he felt isolated and alone, and felt he had found a collective to belong to. Burden and his family had lived in the basement of the store at one time, but following the falling out with Howard they had nowhere to go. It was then that Reverend Kennedy extended a helping hand to Burden and his family, fed them, and aided them in finding housing.

Despite all that had gone before, Reverend Kennedy saw someone who needed help and was not found wanting (Greenville News, 2020). Burden sold his share of ownership in the shop to Kennedy in 1997 and turned over the building deed. Following a protracted legal battle Reverend Kennedy and his church were deemed to own the building although there was a legal stipulation attached which meant Howard could continue running the store rent-free until his death (Washington Post, 2021). Reverend Kennedy’s battle to have the store closed continued and the Redneck Shop was finally forced to close sixteen years after it had opened, by court order, in 2012.

How could a Black Pastor have even contemplated helping a member of the KKK? Reverend Kennedy realized the courage it took for Burden to ask for help, particularly from him. Reverend Kennedy’s feelings toward Burden changed and he saw a man who was trying to help his wife and family, rather than seeing him as a KKK member who felt he should not exist. The selfless gesture of goodwill to someone who had only wished him ill previously began to sow the seeds of an unlikely friendship, one which is now 25 years old. If Reverend Kennedy and Burden could come together and form this friendship, nothing is impossible.

In 2012, following the court order, Reverend Kennedy and his church took full possession of the building. Rather than destroy its contents, many of the artifacts were saved to be used to engage in meaningful conversations about racial history and to attempt to tackle the difficult questions which resulted. In 2018, Regan Freeman, a local historian started researching what took place at the Redneck Shop, uncovering records and digging into the archives of the past 20 years. Eventually, he discovered posters of Hitler and other paraphernalia such as a KKK’s business card designed to scare Black families with a warning not to make the next visit a business call. Freeman also discovered that the Redneck Shop was a recruitment center of the American Nazi Party promoting evil and hate.

In 2019, Reverend Kennedy partnered with Freeman to establish The Echo Foundation. Under the foundation, The Echo Theater is now being restored and plans are underway to transform The Echo Theater and Redneck Shop into a museum of remembrance and reconciliation. The museum will tell the story of what happened in Laurens, including its struggle for justice and its fight against the Ku Klux Klan. What was once a segregated movie theater, and a store glorifying the KKK, is now becoming a center for social justice, healing, and reconciliation. It will display what Freeman uncovered and be a place where people can gather and engage with one another. What was once a base of hate is being transformed into a center that supports diversity and a place for every race and religion to congregate.

As for Burden, who joined the KKK believing no one loved him and thinking that they would become his family, he realized that he did not want to be a hateful evil person like the rest of the KKK. Burden hopes people will learn from the mistakes that he made and not choose to hate to belong. He also realized that it will be us, the people, who are going to make changes in this world, not the politicians (Washington Post, 2021).

As Reverend Kennedy once said, “You have to stand up for what is right regardless of what the consequences are, how long it takes, or who stands in your way … we are warriors, full of love and full of forgiveness, but we will always fight, even if it means dying for our communities” (CNN, 2021).  Now, many years later, both Reverend Kennedy and Burden stand in the light of grace, Reverend Kennedy knowing that he helped turn Burden’s life around and Burden being ever so grateful for it. If this was possible, then anything is possible. We often feel that our country, and the world, are so polarized and divisive that nothing can be done to remedy that. We can, and we must learn to forgive. It is possible to change our course, and it is possible to shun hatred, but we must have the will and humility to do so. The message in this story is inspirational, remembering that the impossible is possible, that love conquers hate, and that the power of forgiveness can transform.

Forgiveness has the capacity to touch many souls. The forgiveness that Reverend Kennedy extended to Burden went far beyond individual forgiveness. It had an impact on the community and society at large. This is what a political forgiveness process can look like. It may start with one individual and with that circumstances can emerge which affect communities and societies alike. As more individuals recognize the power of forgiveness, this kind of work begins to build a foundation that can change mindsets and ultimately build a culture of political forgiveness within our communities and support the healing of this nation.

Unfortunately, we have a terrible stain on our history and what this country was built on. This can be healed, especially if we can engage in a political forgiveness process. It is up to us. Like the story of Reverend Kennedy, Black History Month gives us the opportunity to learn from, as well as celebrate, heroes and cultural icons, and to strive for a more perfect union.

The Importance of Moral Leadership

What is moral leadership and how do we find moral leaders? I agree with David Gergen, writing in his book Hearts Touched with Fire: How Great Leaders are Made’, when he speaks of leadership as a journey that has to start from within. That thought struck a chord with me and it sheds some light on why leaders behave the way they do when they assume these leadership roles. The way people lead reflects who they are. They need to understand themselves, control their emotions, and master their inner self before they can exercise leadership and be of service to others. These are the elements that develop character, help us grow, and develop a sense of purpose. For a leader, knowing their own values and having the ability to follow their true north in a complicated world is important. This is essential for developing moral courage and moral leadership. The journey starts within.  

When you think of leaders, what or who comes to mind? Some will think of leaders of the past and some will think of the leaders of today, many as possibly not quite fitting the bill. If you think of what you would want a leader to be on the other hand, what comes to mind? Many would say a role model and pillar of the community who has courage and acts, not in one’s own self-interest, but in the interest of the community they serve. Moral leadership is important and it is about people making choices for the benefit of others while trying to bring others along with them on different issues. Unfortunately, in today’s world, many leaders are more concerned with their own status and solidifying their own power base than they are with morality, doing what is right for the highest good of all people. We need leaders of moral courage, compassion, and character now more than ever before. The world has no shortage of challenges it is facing and now is the time for strong moral leadership. How do these leaders we need emerge? How do we develop leaders who will stand up, and who will be courageous? There is no simple answer to these questions but there is hope.

A new younger generation of leaders has begun to emerge who have started to challenge the status quo and demonstrate courage. There have been several young leaders who have climbed the ranks to lead their countries at a younger age than those before them, capturing the mood of their nation and understanding what is required. In Finland, Prime Minister Sanna Marin was 34 when she took office in 2019 and she has focused on equality and climate change as key issues during her term, and since the Russian invasion of Ukraine has made moves for Finland to join NATO, making a decision that has been shirked by previous administrations because of fear of what the repercussions might be. Dritan Abazović was 32 when he was sworn in as Prime Minister of Montenegro in 2022 and his government priorities are to fight against corruption, for more sustainable development, environmental protection, and better care for young people while continuing the path toward EU membership. 

Another leader who came to power at a relatively young age was the Prime Minister of New Zealand, Jacinda Ardern who was sworn into office aged 37. Key issues of concern have been cutting child poverty, homelessness, climate change, and equality. Ardern has forged a different path based on courage, strength, empathy, and compassion stressing kindness and well-being as a governing virtue. She has sought to lead by example which was demonstrated in the aftermath of the horrific attack in Christchurch on March 15, 2019, which took the lives of 50 people while praying in a mosque. She sent a powerful message around the world about New Zealanders’ shared values, that those who seek to divide us will never succeed and that New Zealand will always protect the diversity and openness that is its strength. In solidarity with the Muslim community, Ardern wore a hijab while visiting the two mosques that were attacked and showed her empathy as she was embraced by mourners. The empathy which she delivered could be heard in her words “You are us, we feel grief, we feel injustice, we feel anger and we have that with you”. Her heartfelt compassion in the wake of tragedy shows her as an example that other world leaders should take note of. 

In the United States, people are showing similar leadership qualities such as Stacey Abrams who is running for Governor in Georgia and has fought against voter suppression. Liz Cheney is an example of someone in a leadership position standing up for what is right and what she believes in, one of the only Republicans making a bi-partisan effort on the Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack on the United States Capitol. Cheney has faced abuse, and threats and has been censured by her own party but she has carried on fighting for what she believes to be right in the face of it all.  People are showing leadership in their respective positions across politics, society and within the community but the question is how do we ensure they are not a minority but are front and center acting as a catalyst for change. This kind of moral leadership needs to become the standard-bearer and the benchmark that we should be comparing all leaders to. 

The next generation is rising. Young people across the United States and further afield are becoming energized and inspired. They are demanding more from leaders and those in positions of power and informed on the issues that will affect them in the years to come. Thrust into the world of activism by the largest school shooting in American history, Parkland school shooting survivor David Hogg has become one of the most compelling voices of his generation on gun violence and control. The co-founder of March for Our Lives, his call to “get over politics and get something done” challenges Americans to stand up, speak out and work to elect morally just leaders, regardless of party affiliation. Passionate in his advocacy to end gun violence, Hogg’s mission of increasing voter participation, civic engagement, and activism embraces a range of issues. Following the recent spate of mass shootings including the school shooting in Uvalde which killed 19 children and 2 adults and the shooting in Buffalo, New York which killed 10 and injured 3, Hogg organized protests to put pressure on political leaders to take action and pressed the need for gun control legislation.

This generation is more engaged at a younger age than previous generations, particularly on issues that are going to impact them increasingly in years to come. One only needs to think about Greta Thunberg, the 19-year-old climate activist who started protesting for climate action aged 15 in her native Sweden. In 2018, Thunberg took the international stage beginning the school climate strikes and giving public speeches on the topic. Thunberg has stated that as she watched the Parkland students galvanize with the ‘March for Our Lives’ protests she was struck by how one defiant act like skipping school could be so powerful and how could she sit by knowing that the greatest crisis facing the world was unfolding. She was so inspired by the approach taken by young people protesting gun violence that she began to use these tactics to fight for climate action. It was slow at first but soon her social media presence expanded and she received national and international coverage. Her defiance paid off, drawing an estimated 4 million people to take the streets in September 2019 in support of Global Climate Strikes, the biggest single day of climate protests in history (Guardian, 2019). This leadership from someone so young on an issue of such importance is, and continues to be, inspiring.

Why is leadership important? Without good leadership, without a moral compass, there is no moral leadership. South Africa is a good example of what happens in a country when there is a lack of moral leadership. What took place in South Africa between 1948 and 1989 during the apartheid era was reprehensible and it happened in a vacuum of moral leadership. President F.W. de Klerk began to institute changes and reforms to dismantle apartheid when he came to power in 1989 and freed Nelson Mandela in 1990. They worked together to change South Africa and this culminated in a new constitution and Mandela becoming President in 1994. Mandela was able to precipitate change along with others who demonstrated courageous leadership alongside him. This shows what happens when moral leadership is introduced and courageous and righteous action is taken. Often people think that something like this could never happen in their own country but as we have seen across the world in recent years, things that would have seemed improbable can happen and all it requires is a lack of moral leadership. 

Why is moral leadership so important to a political forgiveness process? For a political forgiveness process to be successful and if we are to move forward each one of us needs to consider our own actions, our own place in society, and who we want to represent us. Are we looking for morality in leaders? Are we looking for leaders that we can trust? How can we make sure that this is the leadership that we are really getting? The fundamental change we need in society can only be enabled through each of our own actions. We can create the necessary conditions for that change yet it is up to each of us to play our part. We must all think long and hard about who we want representing us, and why. Do we want leaders who will agree with everyone and do nothing or do we want leaders who will do what is right no matter how difficult it is. We can affect change and we must seek to do so in an informed way.

The Passing of a True Icon

“Do your little bit of good where you are, it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world”.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu

On December 26th 2021, the world lost a truly remarkable man. Archbishop Desmond Tutu, lovingly known to many as the “Arch” passed away after a long and difficult battle with prostate cancer. For many of us who hold an interest in, and indeed those of us working in, the peacebuilding field, working towards restorative justice and reconciliation, his death was one which caused an outpouring of emotion. People across his native South Africa, and many across the world, feel a deep sadness at his loss.

Desmond Tutu was born on the 7th of October, 1931, in Klerksdorp, a small mining town in South Africa before his family moved to Johannesburg. His father was an elementary school teacher and his mother worked at a school for the blind which may have been what influenced Tutu in his early years to be a teacher. Tutu was born at a time when apartheid had an iron grip on society and where there was established racial segregation. This was reflected in the Bantu Education Act of 1952 which lowered the standard of education for black South Africans, limiting the possibility of receiving good quality higher education. While teaching Tutu tried to provide his students with a high level education but grew frustrated because of the Act which promoted inequality and a corrupt educational system. As a result of these frustrations and the political situation at the time, especially concerning the oppression of black South Africans, Tutu left teaching to join the clergy at the Anglican Church and quickly rose through the ranks.

There was a lengthy period of significant unrest in South Africa and this culminated in June of 1976 with an uprising in the black township of Soweto which boiled over into riots and sparked international outcry. The protests were led by black students and were triggered by policies of the apartheid government including the Bantu Education Act of 1953. While the government claimed that just 23 students were killed in the uprising, estimates on the numbers of people who died range anywhere from 176 to 700 people, and over 1,000 people were injured over the course of the protest. The uprising spread country-wide leading to a significant change in the socio-political landscape.

After hearing about the student protest, Tutu mobilized and spent time engaging with students and parents about the wide-scale rebellion against forced Afrikaans school language instruction and inferior education. It was out of this engagement with Tutu that the Soweto Parents Crises Committee was formed in the aftermath of the unrest and killings. In the years that followed, Tutu rose to the position of Archbishop of Cape Town and gained international recognition as one of the anti-apartheid movements strongest advocates. His fight for South Africa eventually earned him the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984.

Tutu’s desire for forgiveness and reconciliation was born out of the Ubuntu philosophy which believes “I am human because you are human. My humanity is caught up in yours. And if you are dehumanized, I am dehumanized” (PBS News Hour 12/27/21). Tutu understood that anger and revenge were detrimental to the greater good. His commitment to reconciliation and his belief in Ubuntu is why Tutu was a strong proponent of restorative justice rather than retributive justice.

In 1996, Tutu stepped down from his duties becoming Archbishop emeritus but continue to reach out to those beyond the borders of South Africa. He also spoke out on the Israel-Palestinian conflict, liking some of the Israeli governments actions to apartheid and had a few words of criticism towards the post 9/11 U.S. led war in Iraq. For all that Tutu represented President Obama award him the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2009. On Tutu’s 79th birthday, his gift to himself was to end his public life and to spend more time with his family and deepen his contemplative life. As Tutu once said: “I really want to engage in the contemplative life, because, you know often, when people are in love, they just want to sit and be together. And I want to try to be a bit more of that with God, but to also have some quality time with the mother of my children” (PBS Hour 12/27/21).

Tutu was the moral conscience of South Africa. He had a strong moral compass which guided his words and actions. He was outspoken not only concerning the injustices taking place in South Africa, but also concerned with international human rights issues such as those in Tibet, Palestine, and the Rohingya Muslims in Myanmar. Tutu fostered true forgiveness and reconciliation. He strongly believed that forgiving our enemies, no matter the wrongs that had been committed, was the only way to true peace. His thinking was reflected in the changes which took place in South Africa. He believed in building a culture of forgiveness and to seek not only justice, but justice with love, what he called restorative justice. It was this approach which transformed the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission which Tutu lead as Chair of the Commission having been appointed to the role by then President of South Africa, Nelson Mandela.

Desmond Tutu was a truly transformative figure and is recognised as such Internationally, but what does his legacy mean for the United States and the world? Tutu’s legacy was to teach us about forgiveness and reconciliation, something which was, and is, in very short supply. The message of forgiveness and the idea that we can come back together may seem completely unattainable, particularly in today’s world of profound divisions and polarization taking place within the United States. The ending of apartheid in 1993 also seemed unattainable, but attained it was. If learning how to forgive wasn’t hard enough, Tutu also spoke of the importance of reconciliation, the revolutionary idea that you must not only forgive those who wronged you, but you also must have the courage to reconcile and to find the common ground so people and communities can live more peacefully together and break the destructive cycles of the past. It is that kind of change in mindset that we need to strive for, and it is that which is so challenging in the United States today.

What does forgiveness and reconciliation truly mean? Those whom we have the most resentment towards, those we fear the most and those we say we hate are precisely the people we need to understand more deeply and bring closer to us. We must try harder to understand why and how they choose to see the world so differently and find commonalities and ways to heal the divide which is so painfully experienced in our society today. It is Tutu’s thinking which provides an answer that can guide those of us in the United States, and around the world. In his own words Tutu leaves us this message.

Forgiveness is never cheap, never easy, but that it is possible, and that ultimately real reconciliation can happen only on the basis of truth. In reality, there can be no future without forgiveness, for revenge merely begs further violence, causing an inexorable spiral of reprisal, provoking counter reprisals ad infinitum”.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu will truly be missed. He was a bright beacon of light giving hope to this world. He was a true leader, transformative in his approach and strong in his convictions. This kind of leadership is sorely lacking today. As Tutu showed throughout his life and work, nothing is unattainable. Let us find his wisdom comforting and guide us in the days to come so that all of us can live in a better world and strive to achieve that progress which is deemed ‘unattainable’.

 

Ad Campaign’s, Guerrilla Fighters and Colombia: It Must Be Christmas?

It is that time of year again. The decorations are out of storage, the tree is going up and excitement is in the air for the children in our communities. The spirit of Christmas is upon us. It is a time we often associate with peace, love, and joy. It is a time for friends, family, neighbors and communities to get together with loved ones spreading good cheer, but we must also remember, this can also be a hard time of year for some. Some people can feel lonely during the holiday season, missing loved ones or not having people to celebrate it and it is those who most need the seasonal community goodwill, and for others to extend the hand of friendship at this time of year. It is a time of not just joy and happiness, but one of forgiveness and putting conflicts to one side and there have been many examples of this in the past. One such powerful example was the series of unofficial truces observed along the Western Front during World War I around Christmas in 1914. Soldiers from opposing sides entered ‘no man’s land’ and spoke, exchanging gifts, and even playing a game of soccer. The is a powerful example of the spirit of Christmas.

There is something about Christmas and the holiday season that is unexplainable and for one person, Jose Miguel Sokoloff, a creative advertising executive from Colombia, anything is possible at Christmas. Colombia has only recently emerged from a 52-year war between the rebel group FARC and the government. During the later years of the war options were considered on how to end the conflict and bring society back together. The Deputy Minister of Defense had an idea to essentially start an advertising campaign to end the conflict. He wanted to change mindsets and felt that if advertising can be used to buy products, why can’t there be a campaign to stop the guerrillas from fighting.  In 2006, Colombia’s Deputy Minister of Defense contacted Sokoloff hoping that Sokoloff’s talent could provide a unique way of ending the long-standing civil war.

They hired Sokoloff to convince thousands of fighters to give up their guns and come back home to their communities and to accept them back without firing a shot. How would Sokoloff do it? Well, simply, with soccer balls, lights, and Christmas trees, all of which are highly valued in Colombian culture. The series of campaigns took years of planning and coordination across the military and with communities.

In December 2010, the campaign launched “Operation Christmas”. At great risk, military helicopters carried two of Sokoloff’s colleagues into rebel territory (60 Minutes, 2016). They found nine, 75-foot trees near guerilla strongholds and decorated them with Christmas lights. Each tree was rigged with a motion detector that lit up the tree and a banner when the guerilla fighters walked by at night. It read: “If Christmas can come to the jungle, you can come home. Demobilize. At Christmas, everything is possible.” What was the purpose of this? Sokoloff wanted to make coming back home for Christmas something important, something everyone valued. He knew that if they put up these Christmas trees with that sign up there, it may touch the hearts of the guerrilla fighters – and for some, it did. Roughly five percent of the rebel force at the time demobilized: they came out of the jungle and gave up (60 Minutes, 2016).

Another campaign, “Operation Bethlehem”, aimed to show guerrilla fighters the way out of the jungle, guiding them home to their families and communities. The military dropped lights to show them the way through the jungle and people made banners which glowed in the dark that said follow the lights. For those who wanted to leave but did not know how, or where to go did leave.

How do you reach your target audience when they are hiding in 150,00 square miles of jungle? That is not an easy question to answer. What Sokoloff discovered was that the rivers are the highways of the jungle and that is an area where some attention should be placed. So, Sokoloff launched a new Christmas campaign called “Operation Rivers of Light.” They asked people in nearby villages to send messages and gifts to the guerilla fighters which were placed inside capsules that glowed in the dark, then floated down the river. This was symbolic in showing that communities cared and that they would welcome back their former neighbors, friends, and family if they walked away from the conflict. The river became a beautiful sight of about 7,000 lights floating down the river (60 Minutes, 2016).

Sokoloff and his military partners never let up. They created dozens of campaigns each uniquely designed to show the guerilla fighters the way out with beams of light, stickers on trees and voices of ex-guerilla fighter leaders booming across the jungle but no voice was more powerful than their mothers. In 2013, Sokoloff found 27 mothers of guerilla fighters. They gave his agency pictures of their sons and daughters as young children that only they could recognize. During Christmas, flyers with those photos were dropped all over the jungle. The message was before you were a guerrilla fighter, you were my child, so come home because I will always be waiting for you at Christmas time. Because of this campaign 218 guerrillas gave up their weapons and did return home.

Over an eight-year period, 18,000 guerillas put down their weapons and came home, in large part because of Sokoloff’s campaigns. The advertising campaigns helped bring the FARC to the negotiating table in 2012. Sokoloff was publicly recognized by Colombia’s Ministry of Defense, with its highest honor, that’s rarely awarded to civilians, for his creative advertising campaigns to help end the war. The work he did in reaching out to those FARC guerilla fighters, who many believed to be too far gone, brought families and communities back together. He got people home for Christmas.

Christmas and the holiday season is a time of peace and, as you can see illustrated in this story in Colombia, it is also a time of hope. It is a time to think of others, a time of forgiveness and of becoming better versions of ourselves. With all these wonderful qualities that this season brings out in us, let us recognize how powerful these qualities can be and what good it can bring to others. If guerrilla fighters can lay down their weapons and come home because of the love shown to them, we truly can do anything in our lives throughout the year with love, joy, and forgiveness.

Are Americans Ready for a Truth and Reconciliation Commission?

South Africa had a Truth and Reconciliation Commission to help the country heal from the wounds of apartheid. Rwanda had a National Unity and Reconciliation Commission to help reconstruct Rwandan society and identity following a brutal chapter in its history. If we look even closer to home, Canada established a truth and reconciliation commission to address what occurred involving the Indian Residential School system. This was established to guide a process of truth and healing, leading toward reconciliation within Aboriginal families, and between Aboriginal peoples and non-Aboriginal communities, churches, governments, and Canadians more generally. Today, in the United States there have been calls for some form of a reconciliation process over issues such as slavery, racial justice and more recently the attack on the capitol which took place on January 6th, 2021. Are Americans ready to face the truth of the past? Are people ready to embrace such a process?

Truth commissions are not new and all that have formed are unique to the situation they have been established to address. Initially, there needs to be a consensus that a truth commission is required and then a consensus on what the issues are that need to be addressed. This initial requirement is often where the best laid plans fall apart. The problem in the United States is that there is no consensus, even for the need of a truth commission, let alone what the issues are that need to be addressed. We do not know what reconciliation would look like in a country facing so many challenges, especially since the country is so polarized.

Healing is necessary in this country. It couldn’t be more apparent after what we witnessed on January 6th, 2021. Recent years have seen growing polarization across the United States, people seeing those with different viewpoints as “the other” and lesser than those with whom they agree. Even if people have a desire to come back together, how do we begin the conversation about what really divides us? It is complicated. There has been so much fear and distrust on both sides of the divide. Each party is afraid that the other will gain more power and sees the other side as an existential threat coming. This is not a healthy democracy. We need to lessen this fear and get to the truth, everyone’s truth, and understand what really happened on January 6th, 2021, and why it happened.

Danielle Allen wrote an opinion piece for the Washington Post on January 21st, 2021, and spoke about “The four kinds of truth America needs to pursue for reconciliation”. Allen, who is a candidate for Governor of Massachusetts, outlined the different stages of a reconciliation process in the US. It begins with forensic truth, getting the facts and holding people accountable for their actions. This is what takes place in the courts and involves eyewitness accounts of what has happened while developing an historical record of what took place. To move forward we must first determine the full facts of what happened and hold those responsible accountable for their actions.

Next comes the personal ‘truths’ where people share their stories, their personal truth. The United States began this process when the Capitol Police officers were testifying in front of Congress, explaining what they encountered and were subjected to. The officers outlined the cruelty and brutality of the day, the violence they experienced and the abuse they endured.  It is important we all carefully listen to these stories without judgment or prejudice if we want to ever make sense of what happened that day. We must bring these personal truths to the table to truly understand. The personal truths that were on display on January 6th demonstrated how far apart people’s beliefs really were. People on the left saw Confederate flags and a white supremacist insurrection. People on the right saw participants as embodying the spirit of 1776 in a morally legitimate uprising. (Danielle Allen, The Washington Post, January 21, 2021.) These chants of 1776 go back to the tea party movement in 2009.

There clearly has been discontent within the United States, within communities, and even within families. Yes, there have been extremists in charge and conspiracy theorists have been given license to perpetuate their mistruths in the mainstream but there has also been some ‘truth’ which has affected conservative ways of life. We must understand the different societal world views, why they developed the way they did, the validity of these world views and the needs that are represented by these world views. Why else do so many people feel that they have lost control over their lives? The point is that understanding where people are coming from gives us an opening to pursue a shared social truth. We need to listen and understand to begin to discuss and move forward. We need to understand what caused people to align with certain worldviews. We need to hear different perspectives which are seeded by these ‘truths’. It helps us begin to sort through all the noise so a social truth can be constructed which can empower people and embrace our diversity.

Allen, in her opinion piece, also spoke of restorative truth. What kind of policies and institutions do we want to have in place that support who we want to be as a people? Some in our communities have felt disenfranchised. We need to have economic policies which reflect the needs of every American, to empower them, and this includes having the ability to access good jobs and work flexibility which can restore dignity to one’s life.

What Allen touches on, and what my work focuses on is a political forgiveness process. This is a process which involves people coming together in safe places, telling their stories knowing that people are really listening. It is about reweaving the fabric of our society in such a way that brings a community back together, where everyone is empowered and embraced. The process restores dignity by seeking structural changes to take place in policies and institutions that can allow society to move forward, as one people and one community.

This is not an easy process. It is time consuming, requires real commitment and leadership and an honest desire to move forward. If we want to do the deep healing which is necessary to set the stage for a reconciliation process to take hold then this is the task at hand. We must approach it with an open mind and a genuine will to make things better. The bottom line is that it is important all Americans need to feel empowered and included in our multicultural society. Yes, this is difficult but we can do it. We need to have a strong desire and will but if we truly want to have a great country this is the path we need to take. This is the path towards healing and reconciliation. This is the path to repair the divide, to bring communities and families back together. We must act now as we have no time to waste.

We Are All Equal

“People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along?”

Rodney King

 

“I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe.” These were the last words of 46-year-old George Floyd. This heinous act occurred in front of witnesses and cameras. George Floyd’s death, and the death of so many other black Americans has sparked a powerful civil rights movement against racism, police brutality and unacceptable discrimination with the powerful message that Black Lives Matter.

The death of George Floyd has brought to the surface, yet again, hundreds of years of systemic racism in the United States. All the accompanying pain, suffering, injustice, and anger that is part and parcel of the experiences of black Americans growing up in the US has come to a head. In addressing the nation following the verdict, President Joe Biden said, “nothing can ever bring their brother or their father back. But this can be a giant step forward in the march towards justice in America. But this is not enough. We cannot stop here. To deliver real change and reform we can and we must do more to reduce the likelihood that tragedies like this won’t ever happen or occur again.” Biden called systemic racism “a stain on our nation’s soul” and that there has been a collective realization about the reality of systemic racism that has occurred since George Floyd’s death.

So, what can we do to help this country heal? Following George Floyd’s death, structural changes across society have been proposed and these begin with police reform. Vice President Kamala Harris voiced her views that lawmakers must now take up legislation that will fundamentally reform policing in America. There is a collective recognition, broadly across the aisle, that much more needs to be done in this regard. Rep. Karen Bass (D-California), a longtime policing reform advocate, introduced the George Floyd Justice in Policing Act which passed the House by a 236-181 vote. Included in the bill is a ban on chokeholds, the ending of “qualified immunity” for law enforcement officers and the creation of national standards for police training. Senator Tim Scott (R-South Carolina), the sole black Republican Senator, put forward a counter proposal which included provisions for making falsified police reports a crime punishable by up to 20 years in prison. While these bills are a start in holding people, both the police and wider public, accountable for their actions, there is a need for far greater urgency, not just in tackling police reform but tackling the wider systemic racism which exists in the United States today.

Tackling the problem of systemic racism through structural reform is one element of the process but ensuring a real change in society will require a focus on education. In order to end this stain on our democracy we must teach that it is wrong, teach that we are all equal and teach the dangers of dehumanization. When I speak about education, yes I am speaking about our children starting from preschool but I am also speaking about all of us. Education is key. For this to work, to actually root out systemic racism, we all have a role to play and we all need to be educated on how we can play that role. We need to start now. We need to teach forgiveness, we need to teach healing and we need to teach reconciliation. There needs to be broad understanding of values such as respect for human rights and principles of equality, responsibility, and unity. When we can build a platform of knowledge for all citizens, we are building a more peaceful society.

How does this fit into a political forgiveness process? When we think of political forgiveness as an interactive process that involves the healing of individuals, the reconstruction of communal relationships, and the pursuit of a just political order it becomes obvious how important education and structural reform is in the healing of individuals and society. Police reform and child education are an important part of this process but it is not the only aspect that needs to be included in a political forgiveness process. All structures that support systemic racism need to be reformed, including unjust laws. Much work needs to be done. It will take all of us coming together and committing to one another if we want to create a better, stronger and more equal society where we can live in peace with one another. It can be done. The question is do we want a brighter future for everyone?

 

 

The Truth, Racial Healing and Transformation Movement: A Political Forgiveness Process in Action

There is a movement afoot. It is called the Truth, Racial Healing and Transformation movement where like-minded people have come together from all walks of life to address the historical and contemporary effects of racism. Not only is this movement concerned with the effects of racism found in social, economic and government policies, it is also concerned with the deeply held and often unconscious beliefs created by racism and in particular the belief of a “hierarchy of human value.” It is this belief which has fueled racism and conscious and unconscious bias throughout American culture. Therefor the purpose of this movement is to engage people, and to encourage discourse in this country that will bring people together as opposed to allowing the continuation of segregation and racism that tears us apart.

The TRHT framework was first developed in 2016 under the guidance of Dr. Gail Christopher at the W.K. Kellogg Foundation. 176 community and civic leaders, scholars and practitioners informed a year-long design process. An important part of the framework was to challenge the belief in a hierarchy of human value based on race by developing transformative approaches to community-based healing. It has been implemented in a wide variety of communities, including on university campuses.

To support this movement Congresswoman Barbara Lee of California and Senator Cory Booker of New Jersey recently announced the reintroduction of their legislation calling for the establishment of the first United States Commission on Truth, Racial Healing and Transformation (TRHT). The commission will examine the effects of slavery, institutional racism, and discrimination against people of color, and how our history impacts laws and policies today. As Senator Booker said, “to realize our nation’s promise of being a place for liberty and justice for all, we must acknowledge and address the systemic racism and white supremacy that have been with us since our country’s founding and continue to persist in our laws, our policies and our lives to this day.” This legislation goes hand in hand with what the goals of the movement are and as Booker also commented, “this is the necessary first step in beginning to root our systemic racism in our institutions and for addressing and repairing past harm and building a more just nation for every American.”

The Truth, Racial Healing and Transformation movement is a wonderful example of a political forgiveness process which focuses on all levels of society. It begins with people coming together in a healing capacity and engaging in conversation within a given community. People share their stories and lay bare the awful truths of what has happened in their lives breaking the denial which has held a strong grip on our society. These stories help us get in touch with our humanity and help as get to know each other as truly human beings. When we can peel away the layers of fear, guilt and anger which is part of a forgiveness process we can get in touch with our humanity and begin to relate to each other differently and in a more compassionate way. We also need to learn how to walk in the shoes of the other. By dealing with what has happened, walking in someone else’s shoes, and by healing our own emotions which blocks us from feeling someone else’s pain we can change the narrative and how we behave. It is about our humanity, to see ourselves in one another, to genuinely care for one another to have empathy that goes beyond who we identify with. That is the work which needs to be done. And if we can help heal the suffering and hurt of ourselves as well as others, we are on the road to heal society and to build a stronger foundation for a more inclusive and just society.

For more information on political forgiveness please visit www.drborris.com.

 

The Poisoning of America’s Soul

Today is MLK day, to honor not only a man who was a great civil rights leader, but also a very spiritual man who had a great soul. His speeches and writings demonstrated a depth of thinking reflecting his beautiful heart for humanity. He understood the destructiveness of violence which not only destroys the social progress in America but also destroys the nations soul as well.

Reverend King often warned about the importance of caring for the worlds oppressed rather than taking sides with the oppressor and so I want to leave you with the words of King himself who speaks of the importance of re-directing ourselves to creating a better world no matter what it demands of us along the way.

“I am convinced that if we are to get on the right side of the world revolution, we as a nation must undergo a radical revolution of values. We must rapidly begin the shift from a ‘thing-oriented’ society to a ‘person-oriented’ society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, materialism and militarism are incapable of being conquered.

“We are confronted with the fierce urgency of now. In this unfolding conundrum of life and history there is such a thing as being too late. Procrastination is still the thief of time. Life often leaves us standing bare, naked, and dejected with a lost opportunity. We still have a choice today, nonviolent coexistence or violent co-annihilation. We must move past indecision to action. We must find new ways to speak for peace and justice throughout the developing world a world that borders on our doors.

“If we do not act, we shall surely be dragged down the long, dark and shameful corridors of time reserved for those who possess power without compassion, might without morality and strength without sight.”

For those of you who are interested in learning about forgiveness on a political level please go to my website www.drborris.com. You can also sign up for a monthly newsletter whose focus is on political forgiveness.

 

Father Cries for Help and Gets a Life changing Surprise

There is a lot one can say about social media and for all the negatives there is also a lot of good. The other day my husband was surfing YouTube when he came across a story of a 24-year-old Tibetan who walks the streets of Majnu Ka Tila, a poor Tibetan Community in Delhi and finds people who are in desperate need of help. We both began to watch what this young man Tenzin Kunchok (also known as Ted) was doing, and before I knew it my husband was talking to Ted on what’s app! Being touched by this Tibetans compassion we found out that he wanted to help a man by the name of Karan. Karan used to do photography but due to the pandemic and rise of the smartphone industry he lost his job. He is the only breadwinner of his family of six and was living in abject poverty. He tried working in manual labor but would not always get work. The most he could earn was about 200 rupees ($2.70) a day. Because of that he was not able to buy food and the necessities for his family to survive. His four children are home because of the lockdown but once school reopens, he needs to pay school fees which he doesn’t have. If the children cannot go to school, they will never be able to get out of poverty. Because of the hard time his family was going through Karan felt there was no where to turn and feared for his family.

When Ted heard about the plight of this family, he wanted to do something about it. He went home and reached out to us. I offered my help to get this family get back on their feet. The next day Ted went back to Karan and told him he need not worry any more. The dream of making a livelihood by opening a pani-puri stall for Karan and a small shop of snacks, drinks and tobacco outside their home for his wife so she could earn some money was now becoming a reality. And his children will also be able go back to school.

Even when there is so much suffering going on in this world there are also people who care such as Ted who saw the need to help Karan. This inspiring and emotional story of one person reaching out to others who in turn could help can be found on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UMf-ZAHpW0. It is a story of what an act of kindness and compassion can do and change someone’s life forever.