Biology, Brains, and the Business of Forgiveness

Tim Phillips has witnessed firsthand how forgiveness reshapes lives—whether in high-stakes negotiations that ended apartheid and sectarian violence, or in the emerging science that shows forgiveness can literally rewire the brain.

As a leader who has supported reconciliation processes from South Africa to Northern Ireland, Tim shares wisdom from figures like Desmond Tutu alongside insights from neuroscience and trauma research. He reminds us that forgiveness is not only a liberating personal choice but also a biological necessity: By understanding ourselves better, we begin to understand others — even our oppressors. Leadership, brain plasticity, and extraordinary stories of reconciliation all come alive in this wide-ranging conversation.

Tim Phillips

Tim Phillips is the founder and CEO of Beyond Conflict, a nonprofit organization that works with leaders to address conflict and promote social change in the United States and abroad. Tim has led efforts to catalyze the peace and reconciliation processes in several nations, including Northern Ireland, El Salvador, and South Africa, and has advised the United Nations, the US Department of State and the Council of Europe. Building on this body of experience, Beyond Conflict has partnered with cognitive and behavioral scientists to generate insights at the intersection of behavioral sciences and real world experience.

Where to Find Tim Phillips

LinkedIn: Timothy Phillips

Website: https://beyondconflictint.org

Dr. Eileen Borris

Dr. Eileen Borris is a clinical and political psychologist who has pioneered the concept of political forgiveness on the individual, community and national level. She has addressed the United Nations and has worked for over 30 years to build peace in areas of conflict around the world, including Rwanda, South Africa, Liberia, Nigeria, Ethiopia, and the Middle East. Eileen is the author of Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness and the creator of Healing the Divide, a program that trains leaders and other individuals interested in applying the principles of political forgiveness to transform their lives and create social change.

Be Part of Eileen’s Community

Subscribe to Political Forgiveness: Voices of Peace podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Subscribe to Political Forgiveness newsletter at drborris.com or on LinkedIn.

Eileen’s book: Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness

Timecodes

00:00  Introduction to Political Forgiveness

00:27  Meet Tim Phillips: Founder of Beyond Conflict

01:11  Exploring Post-Communist Europe

04:07  The Legacy of Apartheid in South Africa

08:36  The Miami Show Band Massacre

14:17  The Neuroscience of Forgiveness

20:58  Political Forgiveness in the Modern World

33:17  Final Thoughts and Reflections

The Priest and the Guerrilla Fighter

Father Leonel Narváez grew up dodging bullets in a Colombian war zone. Later, he befriended the founder of FARC—the same guerrilla group that had brought violence to his doorstep. That experience changed him forever. Now, he teaches nations how to heal through political forgiveness.

“We are asking people to move from being a beast toward being an angel, because both are there in your heart,” he says.

This episode will challenge everything you think you know about justice, mercy, and peace.

#LeonelNarváez #TransitionalJustice #VoicesOfPeace #Forgiveness #PoliticalForgiveness #Peacebuilding

Father Leonel Narváez is a Colombian sociologist, Catholic priest, and founder of the Foundation for Reconciliation in Bogotá. He is the architect of the ESPERE methodology (Escuelas de Perdón y Reconciliación), a training model designed to address the emotional roots of violence, such as resentment and the desire for revenge. His work, informed by experience in peace negotiations across Latin America and Africa, has been implemented in 21 countries and has reached over 2 million participants. Recognized by UNESCO and recipient of Colombia’s Emprender Paz Prize, Father Narváez advances forgiveness with a deep-rooted respect for human dignity.

Where to find Fr. Leonel Narváez

Website: https://www.fundacionparalareconciliacion.org

About Eileen Borris

Dr. Eileen Borris is a clinical and political psychologist who has pioneered the concept of political forgiveness on the individual, community and national level. She has addressed the United Nations and has worked for over 30 years to build peace in areas of conflict around the world, including Rwanda, South Africa, Liberia, Nigeria, Ethiopia, and the Middle East. Eileen is the author of Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness and the creator of Healing the Divide, a program that trains leaders and other individuals interested in applying the principles of political forgiveness to transform their lives and create social change.

Be Part of Eileen’s Community

Subscribe to Political Forgiveness podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Subscribe to Political Forgiveness newsletter: https://www.drborris.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dreileenborris

Eileen’s book: Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness

https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Forgiveness-Seven-Step-Program-Bitterness/dp/0071474692/ref=sr_1_1?

Timestamps

00:34 Meet Father Leonel Narváez

02:07 Leonel’s Early Life and Influences

05:19 Encounter with FARC Leader

10:36 Understanding Political Forgiveness

16:57 The Role of Truth and Reconciliation

24:48 ESPERE Methodology and Its Impact

32:32 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Healing Memories, Forging Peace

Colombia is a nation on a journey from conflict to peace, a nation attempting to stop the never-ending cycle of violence, which has been a struggle for over 50 years. It is a complex nation and situation, which led to a civil war of over five decades, devastating the civilian population. Efforts to peacefully resolve the conflict have resulted in partial agreements that last only for short periods. Yet, there is one person who understands that, to achieve lasting peace, the country must address the anger and fear fueling the Colombian conflict.

From Fear to Forgiveness

Fr. Leonel Narváez Gómez is someone who has worked tirelessly in Colombia’s peacebuilding efforts. Narváez, a Colombian Catholic priest who participated very closely in the peace negotiations with the leftist guerrillas in Colombia, is deeply committed to the work of forgiveness around the world. He was born in Génova, a village near Medellín, in the same town where the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) and its leader were born. Narváez later developed a significant relationship with the FARC leader, Tiro Fijo, in which he was able to rescue dozens of young boys and girls under the age of 18 from the movement.

The area surrounding Medellín was a very violent and dangerous region of the country, and for 12 years Narváez was in danger of being kidnapped. Memories have haunted Narváez. When he was a very young boy, his father’s sugar cane factory was set on fire and destroyed one night by his father’s enemy. What Narváez remembered most was watching the factory burn at 2 a.m. in the morning, fearing that the source of the family’s income would be destroyed. That memory and his anger lingered on for years, and due to this childhood memory, Narváez realized the importance of developing a process for overcoming memory, a process he now teaches others when discussing forgiveness and reconciliation.

The Pull of Powerful Emotions

Narváez’s interest in political forgiveness has a long history. When the 1998 and 2001 negotiations in El Caguán failed, Narváez realized that something was missing. People were negotiating with a lot of anger and hate behind their words, fueling conflict, violence, and the urge for revenge. He understood that, for sustainable peace to be achieved, a solution was needed to address the pull of these powerful emotions. With a background in negotiation, and with the support of experts in various disciplines, including research into forgiveness, Narváez developed a program which was later known as Schools of Forgiveness and Reconciliation (SFR) or Escuelas de Perdon y Reconciliacion (ESPERE), which became the cornerstone of the Fundación Para La Reconciliación or Foundation for Reconciliation, which he founded. ESPERE (es-PEER-ay) was formed to promote forgiveness and reconciliation, and to offer groups of Colombians an opportunity to come together and develop processes that support individuals affected by violence.

What makes the ESPERE program different in terms of an individual forgiveness process is that it links the work of individual forgiveness, an interior process, with a process rooted in the principles of truth, justice, pacts, and memory. The purpose of the initiative was to see how the participants’ emotional development and patterns of social interaction were affected by their experiences. The hope was that when people could share their stories, the narratives could change, and the need for revenge would dissipate, allowing people to move toward reconciliation.

ESPERE Stories

Many forgiveness stories have emerged from the work of ESPERE. Some cases include working with people involved in serious crimes, such as killing a relative, and how they learned to forgive themselves and be forgiven. Another example includes a widow who lost her only son and then adopted the killer of her son. There are other stories, such as an owner of an enterprise who gave employment to his kidnappers—the owner even paid the lawyers not to prosecute them. Yet another story involves an ex-combatant who was attacked during one of the raids and was wounded. His life is now in a wheelchair.

He participated in the Schools of Forgiveness and Reconciliation (SFR) workshop, which taught him how to forgive. Due to his experience in the program, he has now dedicated his life to working with the foundation, and has become a powerful testimony for forgiveness. It is hoped that, in time, Colombia will constitute a national system of reconciliation in which victims of the war, ex-combatants, children and young people in educational establishments, and the population in general will participate in the promotion of cultures of peace, developing agendas for forgiveness.

The ultimate objective of the SFR program is to create communities of peace that heal the wounds of conflict, foster forgiveness and reconciliation, and thereby enable peace to flourish and prevent unrest from happening again. The premise behind the program is that if we do not heal from our psychological wounds, cycles of violence will continue to perpetuate themselves.

The ESPERE program’s methodology has been adopted in numerous countries worldwide. An international network has emerged, sharing experiences, results, and concerns that arise from members’ activities in the field of forgiveness and reconciliation. Members of the network have worked with prison populations, young offenders, victims of political and domestic violence, the reintegration of illegal armed actors, and with young people who suffer abuse in schools. In each of these areas, it has been possible to develop a series of specific methodological designs that, while preserving the general principles of ESPERE, are tailored to the particular circumstances of the target population group.

The Inner Embrace

The concept of forgiveness is about graciousness. It is a gift we give to one another. Forgiveness touches the most existential question of life. What is life for? Life is a gift, and it is also a gift to others. Therefore, forgiveness is not just about forgiving an offense. The real motivation is that by forgiving the offense, you become much more; you become a gift to humanity. That is the most profound meaning of life.

The healing capacity of forgiveness is powerful, and when we allow ourselves to reach its depth we begin to tap into forces that enable us to see the spiritual nature within ourselves and within others. This essence must shine, and it does. It shines within our thoughts, helping us to see the spiritual substance in all of us, in qualities like kindness, generosity, helpfulness, and selfless love. Instead of fearfully looking for signs of trouble, instead of labeling people as victimizers, or victims, or even terrorists, we can humbly see what the light of divine love illuminates. Seeing clearly is only possible as we know the truth of who we are, our spiritual essence. Seeing clearly will enable us to be that light of the world—to shine with the love that illuminates the dark places and wipes out fear, hatred, and misunderstanding. And the same love that lights our way shows us where and how we can best shine the light for others in our communities, because when one person is shining the light, everyone around can see too.

To learn more about ESPERE and the work of Fr. Leonel Narváez, enjoy the Political Forgiveness episode, “The Priest and the Guerrilla Fighter” on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Forgiving a War Commander. Forging Community.

What happens when a mass killer asks for forgiveness? In Sierra Leone’s Fambul Tok (Family Talk) former combatants gather with victims around a bonfire to share their truth, seek forgiveness, and restore community. In this interview with Libby Hoffman, we follow the powerful journey of Mohammed Savage and others who went from committing atrocities to becoming advocates for peace. From traditional ceremonies to modern classrooms in Chicago and St. Louis, this grassroots model of healing is transforming lives. It’s not just about forgiveness—it’s about rebuilding trust, honoring culture, and showing what’s possible when communities lead their own healing.

#LibbyHoffman #CatalystforPeace #FambulTok #Forgiveness #PoliticalForgiveness #CommunityLeadership #RestorativeJustice #Reconciliation

Libby Hoffman

Libby Hoffman is the founder and president of Catalyst for Peace and author of the award-winning book, The Answers Are There: Building Peace from the Inside Out. She creates space for those most impacted by violence and war to lead in building the peace and restoring social wholeness. She co-founded the Fambul Tok (Family Talk) program in Sierra Leone and has accompanied its growth from post-war community reconciliation to national policy framework, as chronicled in her books and the award-winning documentary Fambul Tok, which she produced in 2011. A former political science professor at Principia College, Libby has degrees from Tufts’ Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy and Williams College.

Where to Find Libby Hoffman

Website: libbyhoffman.com

Book: The Answers Are There: Building Peace From The Inside Out

Documentary: Fambul Tok

Catalyst for Peace: catalystforpeace.org

About Eileen Borris

Dr. Eileen Borris is a clinical and political psychologist who has pioneered the concept of political forgiveness on the individual, community and national level. She has addressed the United Nations and has worked for over 30 years to build peace in areas of conflict around the world, including Rwanda, South Africa, Liberia, Nigeria, Ethiopia, and the Middle East. Eileen is the author of Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness and the creator of Healing the Divide, a program that trains leaders and other individuals interested in applying the principles of political forgiveness to transform their lives and create social change.

Be Part of Eileen’s Community

Subscribe to Political Forgiveness podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Subscribe to Political Forgiveness newsletter

LinkedIn: Dr. Eileen Borris

Eileen’s book: Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness

 

00:00 Introduction to Political Forgiveness

00:41 Meet Libby Hoffman: Catalyst for Peace

02:24 The Origins of Fambul Tok

03:15 Challenges and Triumphs of Reconciliation

06:16 The Power of Community Healing

10:08 Bonfire and Cleansing Ceremonies

14:35 Stories of Forgiveness and Reconciliation

28:13 Applying Fambul Tok Principles Globally

33:43 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

The Power of Acknowledgment and Community

The Fourth of July is a time when Americans come together, not only to celebrate the birth of our nation, but to reflect on the values it represents and the gratitude and appreciation for our freedom. It is a time to build a better community, even in the midst of conflict and brokenness, and to strive for a more inclusive society. Luckily for us, there are communities around the world that have been able to come together after being torn apart by conflict and war, which teach us how to do the same, and how the role of forgiveness has played a powerful part in the healing process.

Receiving the Truth With Mercy

In my most recent interview, I spoke with a wonderful woman, Libby Hoffman, whose work focuses on repairing “fireproof containers of community” to hold the work that people need in their communities, recognizing that “handling the heat” is a good thing. She was inspired by the words of Anglican Bishop MacLeod Baker Ochola who said:

“Once the truth is known, it is very bitter for you to swallow. Truth is very deadly; it can kill. But how can you handle it? It is only through mercy. Mercy can let you hold it. If you want to carry live fire in your hands, you will throw it away because it will burn. But if you hold it in something good, that does not conduct heat, you can take the fire. So, it is the same with this, truth revealed — you can receive it with mercy.”

Bishop Baker Ochola’s words helped guide Libby in her work in Sierra Leone and with the post-war reconciliation program, Fambul Tok (Family Talk). Libby is the founder and president of Catalyst for Peace, and facilitated the growth of Fambul Tok into a national policy framework.

Forgiveness is deeply ingrained in the fabric of Sierra Leonean culture and was a powerful force in helping Sierra Leoneans heal from their civil war. This was illustrated in the powerful story of Captain Savage. Mohammed Savage was one of the most notorious commanders in the civil war. Many people say if the special court had indicted 14 people instead of 13, he would have been the next one. Savage was from Kono, the diamond district in Sierra Leone, where a majority of his command had taken place. He was so notorious for his gruesome killings that a pond, which turned into a mass grave, was named the Savage Pit. This pit was the place where decapitated heads and bodies of people he had killed were buried. In that community was another notorious leader who had killed and beheaded 17 members of his own family, Tamba Joe.

The Search for Tamba Joe

When Fambul Tok visited that community, there was considerable discussion about whether even to have a bonfire, the heart of the ceremony rooted in local culture and tradition. However, it was ultimately decided that the community would never be able to move on unless they could discuss what had happened. So, people spent months searching for Tamba Joe, hoping to find him and bring him back so he could apologize. The community wanted to let Tamba Joe know that he would be welcomed back to testify at the ceremony. Yet no one could find him. Was he out of the country? Was he dead? No one knew. And when there finally was a Fambul Tok ceremony, his sisters, including one named Naomi Joe, were there to speak on his behalf. When the father of many of the victims stood up to talk about what happened to his children, the sisters came forward to apologize for Tamba Joe. The father, who was testifying, forgave the sisters, which initiated a healing process and led to an agreement to work together.

After the ceremony, Naomi Joe and her sisters desperately wanted Tamba Joe to come home. People searched all around the country, and eventually Naomi Joe strongly sensed that Tamba Joe was no longer alive. Then someone asked her if Tamba Joe were found, would she have a message she would like to give him? Yes, Naomi Joe replied. Here’s what she said:

“What I have to tell you — don’t be afraid. Anything can happen to us. And everything has an end. There is time for crying. There is time for death. There is time for happiness. I believe with our apology at the bonfire for the role that you played, we have been forgiven. So, wherever you are, you should not be afraid to come home. But if you are not ready to come, at least let there be some communication between us. Now I have taken the responsibility to work together as a family. We have lost enough of our relatives in the war. Our mother is now dead. Our father is now dead. Our cousins died. Even our children died in this war — a lot of them. Please come home so that we can do some cleansing and sacrifices to all who have died. That is all I have to say.”

Tamba Joe never appeared, but the message meant for him found its way to Mohammed Savage. It was the first time Savage had seen such a message from people who had suffered during the war, a message that conveyed the villagers’ willingness to accept him back into the community. And for whatever reason, Savage felt the message was speaking directly to him. Savage needed people to understand his plight, that he had a conscience which kept him in a dark place, and he, too, was suffering in very private ways. He wanted to be free, yet he knew fingers were pointing at him. He knew he had to come clean.

The Apology of Mohammed Savage

Savage realized that if he could admit what he had done, he could then help to heal the communities where he had caused so much harm. Due to issues concerning the special court, it took 18 months before Savage was able to attend a special bonfire just for him, where he came face to face with many of the people he had harmed, acknowledged what he had done, and, in an astonishing moment, apologized.

In her book, Fambul Tok, Libby Hoffman relates how the villagers of his community accepted Savage’s apology, including the Paramount Chief, who at one time never wanted to see Savage, then changed his mind, saying, “I’ve begun to see him as a human being.” With time, Savage returned to the community, engaging in constructive ways. He became a member of the Fambul Tok staff and began to work with ex-combatants using his story to help them come to terms with the harm they inflicted on others and ensure there would be no repeats. His story illustrates beautifully how individuals touched by the power of forgiveness can be transformed and become agents of societal change. This is how individuals, through their journey of forgiveness, create social change and become forces of political forgiveness.

The Importance of Acknowledgement

Acknowledgement plays a pivotal role in the Fambul Tok process, just as it does in the process of political forgiveness: There needs to be an acknowledgment of the crimes committed by the perpetrators of the harm caused. Survivors also need to acknowledge the pain and suffering shared by survivors and perpetrators — as individuals and in communities — and to understand that those who harm, in many cases, are themselves victims of significant harm. There is the trauma of oppression for both sides. This is very difficult to see, especially with groups who have a history of violence toward one another.

What becomes harder for people to acknowledge is that there is decency in the perpetrator’s community, and therefore, not every person is collectively responsible. More difficult is the acknowledgement of humanity in each other: understanding that anyone is just as capable of causing harm as the other, if they were living under the same circumstances. This becomes part of the healing work that needs to be done for forgiveness to be transformative. People will need to be held accountable for their actions and then come together to make decisions on how to repair the community. Only then can new relationships be formed and forgiveness offered.

The Fireproof Container of Community

What can we learn from the Fambul Tok process that can be applied to community healing in the United States? It’s the strength of the community and the power of forgiveness. It was the people who decided to work together, committed to having the hard conversations, acknowledging the truth of the atrocities together in front of the community, and recognizing that the healing community could be a strong enough container to hold even the heat of egregious actions, such as those of the civil war in Sierra Leone. Not dealing with the past was paralyzing those communities and holding them back. The power of community created the space that supports tough, hard conversations, such as Fambul Tok. It is a commitment to move forward together and act! It is this power of communities coming together with their energies and resources that is a lesson we can all learn from.

To learn more about Fambul Tok and Libby Hoffman’s work, enjoy the Political Forgiveness episode, “Forgiving a War Commander. Forging Community.” on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

The Heat of Resistance Meets the Cool of Dialogue

Within groups in the peacebuilding community there are differing opinions as to what needs to happen and how to deal with the current authoritarian resurgence. Do we need to heat things up, resist and cry out for social justice or do we need to cool things down and work towards bringing people together in a healing capacity. People are taking different approaches as to what needs to happen.

Shaking Things up With Resistance

In my most recent podcast, Julia Roig spoke of these tensions in the peacebuilding field where some groups want to heat things up through resistance, while others want to cool things down through such means as focused dialogue. We witnessed Senator Cory Booker heating things up in his 25-hour, record-breaking speech with the intention of disrupting business as usual in the United States Senate. There were also Republican leaders standing up for farmers on the receiving end of the tariff policies in rural America. We are now beginning to see a movement within the Democratic Party as leaders shift from trying to find common ground with Republicans to standing their own ground and articulating their own vision. The barn-burning speech recently given by Democratic Illinois governor J.B. Pritzker is an example of that, as he urged Democrats to stop listening to the over cautious “do-nothing political types,” when Americans need to take urgent action and fight everywhere and all at once.

Rallies have been taking place throughout the 50 states, which include civil rights organizations, labor unions, Federal workers, veterans, and LGBTQIA+ advocates, to name a few. People from all walks of life are having a change of heart and want to be part of a different future for our country — we need to create on-ramps for their acceptance and welcome them into the broadest possible movement. As Reverend C.T. Vivian, aide to Dr. Martin Luther King said: “When you ask people to give up hate, then you need to be there for them when they do.” Government is meant to work for all of us.

So where does a process of political forgiveness fit within all of this, and how do we work through tension and conflict to offer viable pathways for acknowledgement, healing, and reconciliation? Given the political climate we’re living through with the dismantling of our democracy, it’s more important than ever to find ways to come together. How can change and accountability be pursued without alienating each other? How we deal with the pain and harm done to all of us will determine our future together, raising the potential of bringing us closer together with greater clarity and profound healing.

An Historical Accounting

Raising the heat is not about initiating violence. It is about shaking people out of complacency. It is about getting people to recognize harm done and to acknowledge the role all of us are playing. This builds tension between those who want to raise the heat and those who want to cool things off and bring people together. But what about a framework that can do both? It begins with a resistance movement to heat things up so we come out of denial. Only then can we heal anger and hate on the path to forgiveness and societal change. We have seen resistance in civil rights movements that grabs people’s attention. In a justice-seeking framework such as a truth and reconciliation commission, we’ve seen there needs to be an historical account of what has taken place, an acknowledgment of crimes and injustices committed, and which continue to happen, before there can be reconciliation or an agreement of non-repetition.

“When you ask people to give up hate, then you need to be there for them when they do.”  — Reverend C.T. Vivian, aide to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

In a political forgiveness process groups must agree to stop the harm before coming together. In order to do that, there may be a need for resistance as a first step. In a political forgiveness process stories need to be told that provide historical context and a sharing of lived experiences before moving toward forgiveness. There needs to be recognition of the injustice that took place and perhaps acknowledgment of the existential nature which created the conditions for people to do horrific things to one another. People will need to be held accountable for actions taken and then come together in making decisions as to how to repair the community. Only then can new relationships can be formed and forgiveness offered.

Not everyone will be ready to do this kind of work — to share the historical framework that shaped who they are — which not only requires sharing the psychological landscape from which they came, but also being willing to go deep within themselves emotionally, grieving the losses and what they wish could have been, in order to make peace with the past. Deep healing takes time; this work cannot be rushed. Empathy for someone else can’t be given if we can’t get in touch with our own pain. Only after we become aware of our humanness can we understand the humanity of the “other.” It is only then that we will be able to find each other across differences, hear the diversity of lived experiences, and find a way of moving forward together.

SOURCES

Heather Cox Richardson, April 29, 2025, Substack

Opponents Sitting Down Together Build Coalitions and Trust

I was listening to a wonderful podcast How Do We Get Through This hosted by Tim Phillips, founder of Beyond Conflict, which spoke of how we can navigate through our fears and uncertainty surrounding the upcoming elections and what this means for our future.

Phillips founded Beyond Conflict with the focus of helping emerging democracies in Central and Eastern Europe come to terms with their past and deepen the process of democracy. Later his work expanded into such places as Northern Ireland, El Salvador, Sri Lanka and South Africa. The core of his work in helping leaders confront their past and work towards reconciliation was in shared human experiences. Interestingly this is at the core of a political forgiveness framework.

In his inaugural podcast, Phillips interviews two incredible people: Roelf Meyer, beneficiary and defender of the apartheid system who later experienced a profound change in his thinking, and Mohammed Bhabha a leading ANC activist who suffered under the apartheid systems segregation policies, only to become a key negotiating team member that negotiated the new constitution. Both men were at one time enemies sitting at opposite ends of the political spectrum and who ultimately changed the course of history in their country working together to end apartheid and build a multiracial democracy.

These leaders, who have traversed rough terrain, give us hope that — no matter the results of the election in this country — there is a way we can heal. The first lesson is that it will take courage and coalition building of like-minded people who have similar core values and a common conviction in building a stronger nation. We have already seen this happening with Liz Cheney and Kamala Harris coming together with obviously very different political backgrounds and views, but with the same core values, such as the respect for the rule of law, democratic norms, and for our constitution.

We need to build on this. We need to ask ourselves: Do we all have the same conviction that our democracy is worth fighting for and do we understand what it means if we lose it? As Roelf Meyer shares, it was very important for him, while working with counterpart Cyril Ramaphosa, that they had the same conviction — bringing about a peaceful resolution for their country. In knowing that, they started to believe in each other, which became the key element in their relationship. This belief in one another gave these men the strength to deal with what was in front of them, knowing that all the issues they needed to deal with could be resolved. And this is where we need to do our soul searching. Do we love our country enough to never forsake the core values the United States is built upon and to do what is required of all of us to move forward in peaceful co-existence?

In South Africa, Meyer and Bhabha spoke about the importance of building a center of convergence when the National Party and the ANC decided to work toward building a new multiracial democracy. This center was committed to upholding the constitution, rule of law, and also driven by values that reinforced our humanity. This kind of commitment is currently missing in the United States. The lesson is: If you can find common ground concerning the destiny for the future of our country then you will find what you need to deal with all the challenges that arise.

Another important lesson from these leaders is the importance of getting to know one another, learning how to talk with each other, build trust, and come together in a healing capacity. And that is what the political forgiveness model is about, helping to prepare people to come together and developing skills to help us let go of our grievances and petty anger. We learn to deeply listen to one another in productive dialogues where we begin to understand who we are as human beings. We become aware of obstacles within ourselves that makes it difficult to empathize with the “other.” A political forgiveness program can help leaders move forward with this mindset an associated skills.

We are at a crossroad, and need to understand that, fundamentally, our country is changing; we are at a history-making moment and the choices we make now will have a profound effect on our country which may remain with us for decades. More violence can ensue — or we can come to the realization that we need to deeply listen to and talk with one another and make a commitment to honestly work with one another.

So much more has been said this in this podcast and I hope many of you will take the time to listen to it. It will bring us hope and begin to provide a roadmap of what we can do to face the challenges before us and help build a better country for us all.

Are Grievances Running Our Nation and Is Political Forgiveness Our Way Out?

On January 6, 2021, a date that will go down as one of the darkest in American history, a routine certification of presidential election results turned into a bloodbath of grievance. What happened at the US Capitol was not just the result of one election and the defeat of then-President Donald Trump, it was the culmination of years of adding kindling to the bonfire. On January 6, the words and actions of one man, encouraging his mob of supporters to believe him, resulted in an insurrection against the United States Congress at the US Capitol building in Washington, D.C.

Americans are deeply divided over why the insurrection happened, most assuming the split reflects bitter partisan politics. Although we may think that the insurrection was about the Big Lie or that the 2020 presidential election was stolen, what motivated the rioters that day was the notion that the United States is for white people whose power must be protected at all costs. The slogan, “Stop the steal,” was not only referring to the belief in a rigged election, it was also referring to the sense of status being stolen, the resentment that Black people and other minority groups were using race to gain unfair advantage. It is a metaphor for what some people are feeling is happening in our country: their status is being stolen and they feel threatened. White grievance, according to Robert Pape, a professor of political science at the University of Chicago, was the primary motivation for January 6. According to Pape, “There is a clear racial cleavage that you see in our data and that is what is also captured in the ‘great replacement theory.” Racial resentment was a crucial factor among white Americans who supported the January 6 attack on the United States Capitol.

Not all grievances are created equal. The protests over the killing of George Floyd and the resulting Black Lives Matter protests are examples of grievances that need to be heard and dealt with. Genuine grievances stemming from personal experiences are grievances that need to be listened to. The grievances at the heart of the protests that have erupted in hundreds of US cities need to be heard and addressed if the country is to move on from its tragic history of racism and violence.

A large majority of US citizens are beginning to accept the long history of racism, and the legacy of racist ideas and structures left behind, according to Simon Clark, writing for the Center for American Progress. “The recent protests and public reaction to George Floyd’s murder are a testament to many individuals’ deep commitment to renewing the founding ideals of the republic. But there is another, more dangerous, side to this debate—one that seeks to rehabilitate toxic political notions of racial superiority, stokes fear of immigrants and minorities to inflame grievances for political ends, and attempts to build a notion of an embattled white majority which has to defend its power by any means necessary.”

Violence and, in particular, political violence seems to be feeding into a cacophony of grievances, loudly broadcast through our airwaves and any other form of conceivable communication. Racism and political violence fueled by grievances touch every aspect of our personal and political lives, creating a great division and polarizing our country. How do we heal this?

We need to understand the nature of racial resentment. If we only focus on “racism” it runs the risk of continued polarization and makes healing more difficult. Using anger and violence to intimidate shuts down communication; people will not listen to one another, rendering any healing process or reconciliation impossible. Everyone needs to be treated with respect, to feel safe, to have their voices heard and feelings worked out, in order for a change of mindset to occur. This is the premise of any political forgiveness process, for people to feel safe and be heard, to share deeply about themselves and to deeply hear one another.

Political forgiveness is an act that joins truth, tolerance, empathy, and a commitment to repair fractured human relationships to support a process of conflict transformation. To stop the cycles of anger, hatred, and fear fueling so much suffering requires a radical change in our thinking, which involves changing our mindsets. We change mindsets by seeing each other through a different lens, not one of anger and fear toward one another, but through understanding the psychological landscape where all of us have come from, and gaining an understanding for what we have all been through. This enables us to reframe the past by giving it a new narrative which can support societal change.

A political forgiveness process begins with individual understanding: for all of us to get in touch with why we feel the way we do. It’s important to understand how our grievances, our resentments, began, and to create a meaningful story. It’s not easy to develop peace within oneself, especially when we feel mistreated—and this is what a grievance is about, we feel that something happened we didn’t want to happen, or that some event we really hoped for simply didn’t occur. Ultimately a grievance forms because something in our life turned out to be radically different from what we wanted, and we feel unfairly treated.

Our grievances form when we don’t have the skills to deal with our reality and don’t know how to communicate with one another, focusing too much on the injustice we feel. A political forgiveness process helps people learn those skills of how to work through grievances and to develop the necessary skills and the mindset, which can lead to resolutions. As part of the process, people come together and learn to deeply hear and communicate with one another, engage in a dialogue process and with a greater openness to one another and to discuss how they can come together to create societal change. As a deeper healing takes place among people with different views and concerns, this country can develop a culture of political forgiveness and peaceful co-existence that can become the foundation for societal change by healing emotions that have fueled polarization and by developing skills that can be used — including forgiveness skills to foster better relationships in one’s personal life — within communities and within nations. By developing a new way of thinking through a political forgiveness process, participants deepen their ability to reframe situations, thereby creating a new vision, which includes a healing narrative, accepting one another as legitimate partners in creating a more peaceful society.

 

Sources

American Myths Are Made of White Grievance—and the January 6 Big Lie is Just the Latest, Anthony Conwright, Jan.–Feb. 2023 issue, Mother Jones.)

How White Supremacy Returned to Mainstream Politics, Simon Clark, Center for American Progress

Being Valued, Seen, and Heard in a Polarized Society

Roelf Meyer, a prominent South African politician and privileged member of Afrikaner society, may have become President of South Africa had the system of apartheid not come to an end. Yet Meyer became one of the key people who convinced President F.W. de Klerk to release Nelson Mandela from prison, and then subsequently led the negotiating team of the white-minority government in the talks to end apartheid, according to the book Beyond Conflict. How was Meyer able to make a shift in his thinking, moving away from his initial beliefs of racial superiority and developing a greater awareness of the importance of equality for all?

During the time when Meyer started practicing law, he was confronted with the reality that Blacks and other non-white South Africans had no constitutional rights, and as such began to grapple with his personal sense of fairness and justice. In a story recounted in Beyond Conflict, Meyer described a young Black boy sitting in the back of a white farmer’s pick-up truck, along with the farmer’s dog. It began to rain, and the farmer stopped the truck to get his dog and put him in the cab, leaving the boy in the back of the truck to be drenched in the rain. Struck by the profound act of humiliation and insensitivity to the young boy, Meyer began to think more and more about the blatant racism found in his country.

At one point during his political life, Meyer was given an assignment by President P.W. Botha to learn why Black people were rioting. While spending eighteen months visiting Black townships to gain an understanding of the unrest, he started to recognize that, although he was an elected representative to Parliament, he in no way represented the people of South Africa. Rather, he only represented a tiny white minority whose advantages and privileges he could no longer morally support. It became clear to Meyer, at least on an intellectual level, that there was a critical need for social and political change to take place. On an emotional level, Meyer wasn’t there yet. It wasn’t until years later, that he completed his personal journey, making a paradigm shift and leaving the thoughts of Black inferiority behind, realizing that South Africa’s future could only be based on equality for all. It is this type of thinking and changing of mindsets that opens one up to be willing to work with others—not only as a leader but in a healing capacity.

The course of Meyer’s personal transformation, from a pragmatic shift in his thinking to a much deeper, more personal paradigm shift, did not happen overnight, and fundamentally involved more of an emotional understanding rather than an intellectual one. As Meyer would say “It involves deeply personal values and passions and has to come from the soul.”

Unity Takes Center Stage

What can we learn from this story, especially within the context of what is currently taking place in the United States? Changing mindsets begins when we are willing to get to know the “other,” to listen to their stories and understand their realities. We cannot understand the other side without knowing the other side. Change is something we all must be challenged with at some point, whether in the political arena or in our social lives. Our democracy depends on it.

Meyer’s story also shows that instead of hating one another, we could focus on working with each other. This unity needs to take center stage if we want to combat all that divides us. More importantly, our focus needs to be on making systemic changes and connecting with each other to make that happen. We need to develop courage within ourselves to face what is going on and to stand up to what is wrong. And we need to ask ourselves, “What does it mean to be an American?” Just as Meyer went to the Black townships to gain an understanding of the different realities, we need to become aware of what the different groups of Americans’ lived realities are, and to experience these realities of who we think of as the “other.” In this spirit of inclusivity, we are saying to one another “I see you.”

All the elements we have just talked about are important steps in a political forgiveness intervention. Taking responsibility for one’s thinking is critical to creating a paradigm shift. It is the transformation of mindsets and the building of trust that creates this lasting change. One needs to understand that, by engaging in a collective form of forgiveness on a political level, it is possible to bring antagonistic groups together in a healing capacity, to prevent senseless bickering, grievances, and polarization and to ensure instances such as this will not happen again.

A Political Forgiveness Research Project

Currently I’m developing a political forgiveness research project in the U.S. to reduce polarization by quieting anger and intolerance, as well as enabling participants to tolerate diverse views, better articulate one’s own point of view, increase self-awareness of bias, and to link a political forgiveness intervention to societal change. The purpose of the project is to bring people together who hold different political views and train them to engage with one another in a constructive way.

This is designed as a four-session training program. The first session focuses on defining forgiveness and political forgiveness, the differences and overlap between interpersonal forgiveness and political forgiveness, and why political forgiveness is necessary. The second and third sessions focus on building the basic skills of forgiveness, including letting go of grievances and petty anger, learning how to change mindsets and how to be more understanding and tolerant of one another. Session four takes a deeper dive, teaching deep listening skills that enable us to feel valued, heard, and seen. Participants will have the opportunity to take part in a dialogue process, the “logics of truth” where they can share their own truths, their hopes and fears, and discuss what a societal healing process might look like, linking political forgiveness to social change.

Political Forgiveness Training for Members of Congress

It is anticipated that one of the ways this program can have great impact is by offering it to incoming freshmen entering Congress in Arizona, my home state, or in any other state. Teaching freshmen these skills before they start working in Congress will enable them to have better working relationships and be more effective in the work they will be doing. And if we can all learn these skills, our personal and social lives would be more rewarding.

Why is this political forgiveness training so important?  Sacred traditions have a deep understanding of human psychology and tell us that the development of the ego is not the final state of human evolution. The idea that humans can grow beyond ego to divine self-transcendence is crucial to our understanding of forgiveness. Forgiveness on an individual level, which lays the foundation of a political forgiveness process, can be very powerful, even transformative. Forgiveness helps us tap into the deeper meaning of what it is to be human and helps us develop those transcendental values that are not about self-interest but about become more caring human beings.

Transcendence is considered one of the highest states of consciousness where we are focused on things beyond the self, such as a spiritual awakening or service to others. It informs the way we think, so instead of seeing the world through the lens of our fears, insecurities, and need for power, we see the world through the understanding of our interconnectedness. We are not reacting out of our ego’s self-interest, but coming from a more spiritual place within ourselves and are more concerned about the highest good for all. These are the values that are missing in our discourse. Until we begin to develop those values, such as wisdom, generosity, fairness, truth, forgiveness and human dignity, we will stay stuck in our fear-based thinking—an “us vs. them”—thinking which feeds into the chaos and polarization we are experiencing today.

Be Part of the Research Project

For those of you who would like to participate in the political forgiveness research project, you will be at the forefront of creating a positive change. Not only will you experience feeling more peaceful within yourself by learning how to let go of grievances and petty anger, but you will also learn how to build a community by building trust and developing healthier relationships with one another. You will learn how to change mindsets where people can accept one another as legitimate partners and engage in a process linking forgiveness to societal change, building a culture of political forgiveness in our country instead of fostering more anger and bitterness. This is an exciting research project opened to anyone interested in bringing people together, bridging the political divide and reducing polarization in the United States. It will be a virtual program, offered nationwide. If interested please email me at erborris@gmail.com.


Source for Roelf Meyer story: Beyond Conflict: 20 years of Putting Experience To Work For Peace by Timothy Phillips, Brideswell Books, 2013

Extraordinary Personal Forgiveness Leads to the Healing of a Community

While we still are working toward racial justice, there are inspiring stories that shine a light on bravery and perseverance, stories that show when people can begin to question their basic values, we can change and experience and learn new things. The following story about the Echo Theater is a reminder that we can acknowledge and admit wrongs, concede failures, hear people more clearly, and seek forgiveness. When we see injustice, we are obligated to act — and just as a person’s values can change so can a nation.

An Unlikely Friendship

It would seem quite unusual for a former white supremacist Ku Klux Klan member and a Black pastor to become close friends, but that is exactly what happened in Laurens, South Carolina. This was where Reverend David Kennedy, a Black pastor, met the Grand Dragon of the local KKK, Michael Burden in 1996.

What was once a historically segregated movie theater, The Echo, became a white supremacist store, the Redneck Shop, which sold white nationalist and neo-Nazi paraphernalia owned by Michael Burden and John Howard. When the Redneck Shop opened in 1996, Reverend Kennedy fought continuously to have it closed and protested relentlessly outside, risking his life to stand up against hatred. Throughout the time of the shop’s existence, the building became the self-proclaimed “World’s Only Klan Museum” and the meeting spot for several white nationalist groups, including the National Socialist Movement (NSM), the largest neo-Nazi organization in the country, according to the Anti-Defamation League (CNN, 2021). When Kennedy stood up and fought against the store, he became a target for the KKK, putting his life, and the lives of those close to him, in jeopardy.

Opening the store was Burden’s idea, but he soon fell out with John Howard, and he and his family were struggling to get by. When Burden met his wife, he began questioning his affiliation with the KKK and his beliefs; he joined because he felt isolated and alone, and felt he had found a collective to belong to. Burden and his family had lived in the basement of the store at one time, but following the falling out with Howard they had nowhere to go. It was then that Reverend Kennedy extended a helping hand to Burden and his family, fed them, and aided them in finding housing.

Despite all that had gone before, Reverend Kennedy saw someone who needed help and was not found wanting (Greenville News, 2020). Burden sold his share of ownership in the shop to Kennedy in 1997 and turned over the building deed. Following a protracted legal battle Reverend Kennedy and his church were deemed to own the building although there was a legal stipulation attached which meant Howard could continue running the store rent-free until his death (Washington Post, 2021). Reverend Kennedy’s battle to have the store closed continued and the Redneck Shop was finally forced to close sixteen years after it had opened, by court order, in 2012.

How could a Black pastor have even contemplated helping a member of the KKK? Reverend Kennedy realized the courage it took for Burden to ask for help, particularly from him. Reverend Kennedy’s feelings toward Burden changed and he saw a man who was trying to help his wife and family, rather than seeing him as a KKK member who felt he should not exist. The selfless gesture of goodwill to someone who had only wished him ill previously began to sow the seeds of an unlikely friendship, one which is now 25 years old. If Reverend Kennedy and Burden could come together and form this friendship, nothing is impossible.

In 2012, following the court order, Reverend Kennedy and his church took full possession of the building. Rather than destroy its contents, many of the artifacts were saved to be used to engage in meaningful conversations about racial history and to attempt to tackle the difficult questions which resulted. In 2018, Regan Freeman, a local historian started researching what took place at the Redneck Shop, uncovering records and digging into the archives of the past 20 years. Eventually, he discovered posters of Hitler and other paraphernalia such as a KKK’s business card designed to scare Black families with a warning not to make the next visit a business call. Freeman also discovered that the Redneck Shop was a recruitment center of the American Nazi Party promoting evil and hate.

In 2019, Reverend Kennedy partnered with Freeman to establish The Echo Project. Under this foundation, The Echo Theater is now being restored and plans are underway to transform The Echo Theater and Redneck Shop into a museum of remembrance and reconciliation. The museum will tell the story of what happened in Laurens, including its struggle for justice and its fight against the Ku Klux Klan. What was once a segregated movie theater, and a store glorifying the KKK, is now becoming a center for social justice, healing, and reconciliation. It will display what Freeman uncovered and be a place where people can gather and engage with one another. What was once a base of hate is being transformed into a center that supports diversity and a place for every race and religion to congregate.

As for Burden, who joined the KKK believing no one loved him and thinking that they would become his family, he realized that he did not want to be a hateful evil person like the rest of the KKK. Burden hopes people will learn from the mistakes that he made and not choose to hate to belong. He also realized that it will be us, the people, who are going to make changes in this world, not the politicians (Washington Post, 2021).

As Reverend Kennedy once said, “You have to stand up for what is right regardless of what the consequences are, how long it takes, or who stands in your way … we are warriors, full of love and full of forgiveness, but we will always fight, even if it means dying for our communities” (CNN, 2021).  Now, many years later, both Reverend Kennedy and Burden stand in the light of grace, Reverend Kennedy knowing that he helped turn Burden’s life around and Burden being ever so grateful for it. If this was possible, then anything is possible. We often feel that our country, and the world, are so polarized and divisive that nothing can be done to remedy that. We can, and we must learn to forgive. It is possible to change our course, and it is possible to shun hatred, but we must have the will and humility to do so. The message in this story is inspirational, remembering that the impossible is possible, that love conquers hate, and that the power of forgiveness can transform.

Forgiveness has the capacity to touch many souls. The forgiveness that Reverend Kennedy extended to Burden went far beyond individual forgiveness. It had an impact on the community and society at large. This is what a political forgiveness process can look like. It may start with one individual and with that circumstances can emerge which affect communities and societies alike. As more individuals recognize the power of forgiveness, this kind of work begins to build a foundation that can change mindsets and ultimately build a culture of political forgiveness within our communities and support the healing of this nation.

Unfortunately, we have a terrible stain on our history and what this country was built on. This can be healed, especially if we can engage in a political forgiveness process. It is up to us. Like the story of Reverend Kennedy, Black History Month gives us the opportunity to learn from, as well as celebrate, heroes and cultural icons, and to strive for a more perfect union.