What Can Leaders and Neuroscience Teach Us?

Many countries around the world are grappling with a violent past. In the peacebuilding world, addressing the past focuses on identifying and resolving the root causes of conflict through constructive engagement with narratives and past experiences of violent conflict. Many leaders are, or have been at the forefront of building the foundations of peace within their societies and nations. Leaders who come to mind are Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr., and Mahatma Gandhi. All of these men followed their moral compass, based on principles of inner strength and ethical convictions. Can we develop leaders who possess a mindset of inclusivity and moral fortitude? Is there something we can learn from leaders who have been self-reflective due to their experiences, and as a result, can teach us very valuable lessons? And is there a place for neuroscience to help us gain a deeper understanding of one another?

Tim Phillips, founder and CEO of Beyond Conflict, a nonprofit organization that works with leaders to address conflict and promote social change in the United States and abroad, has shared insights gained from his work with leaders around the world. In my latest podcast, Biology, Brains, and the Business of Forgiveness, I had the honor of discussing with Tim how these insights can inform the work of political forgiveness. He began meeting leaders towards the end of the Cold War, especially those in newly emerging democracies. When speaking to these leaders, various issues started to emerge, — including the legacy of the past. How do individuals, communities, and nations deal with the burden of repression that lasted for generations? How do we trust again?

Acknowledging the Oppressor’s Experience

Tim had the privilege of becoming friends with Roelf Meyer, a South African leader and the chief negotiator for the National Party government, who played an integral role in the negotiations between F.W. de Klerk and Nelson Mandela that led to South Africa’s transition to post-apartheid governance. Meyer was asked if he felt any anxiety or insecurity about the decision he made with de Klerk about the negotiations that ended apartheid, and how he felt afterwards. Meyer did question whether he was doing the right thing for his people and for the nation, understanding that people feared what lay on the other side of change. Yet, the moment the agreement was signed, Meyer felt a sense of liberation. A paradigm shift occurred.

Tim then asked more about Meyer’s community, the Boer or Afrikaner community, which went through a form of ethnic cleansing and genocide by the British in the early 20th century. Twenty thousand men, women, and children were killed. Did Meyer’s community ever confront that? Meyer paused, and as he thought about this more, he said if his community had an internal process of healing and truth-telling, perhaps after the Boer War, they may not have set up apartheid.

As part of the truth-telling and healing process, hearing the stories of the victims gives a voice to the voiceless and creates a historical record of what took place. It sheds light on what has happened. But what about the story of the oppressor — were they once victims, too? What if a truth-telling process included the acknowledgment of the psychological landscape of the oppressor that created the situation of so much suffering in the first place? It’s much more challenging to acknowledge the trauma of individuals who did horrible things to you, and to acknowledge what wounded them. Acknowledgment is a crucial component of the political forgiveness process and is essential to breaking cycles of violence, as reflected in Meyer’s insight, and could have profound implications. And we need a process that invites those who cause harm to engage in a healing process of their own, thereby reclaiming their humanity as well. Political forgiveness provides for that opportunity.

Political Forgiveness Begins at Home

Political forgiveness must begin with the individual, and only then can it radiate out to the community and society at large. Phillips highlighted this when hearing someone ask Desmond Tutu about forgiveness. Tutu admitted how difficult forgiveness can be, sharing that when he was in a fight with his wife, he sometimes struggled to say he was sorry. When we think of political forgiveness, we often consider it in broad, existential terms, particularly when we witness the immense suffering that occurs in the world. But political forgiveness begins with our lived human experiences, within our families, our friends, and in our communities. It is part of being human, and to understand our humanness, Phillips began to look to brain and behavioral science to gain insight into this.

The Neural Signature of Forgiveness

Most people don’t realize that our every thought has a chemical component transmitted via neurotransmitters in our brains. Neuroscientists tell us that thoughts can change our brain chemistry as well as our physiology. Neuroplasticity — our brain’s ability to alter neural connections — allows the brain to compensate for traumatic events by forming new neural connections based on new experiences. This can create a cognitive shift in our thinking, leading to a reappraisal of our emotions.

In 2013, a group of scientists (Ricciardi et al.) studied how our brains heal emotional wounds, and they found that the decision to forgive rewires the brain. Neural pathways associated with anger and resentment are weakened, while new neural pathways related to emotional reappraisal, taking perspective and empathy are created. Those who chose to forgive horrific things have also changed their neural signature, which releases the PTSD patterning through emotional reappraisal, which then reduces post-traumatic stress. The difference is actually visible on an fMRI.

The Neuropsychological Equivalent of Grace

What can we take from this? When we can forgive, we perceive the world with greater clarity and insight. The rewiring of the brain has enabled an emotional reappraisal, increased ability for perspective-taking, enhanced empathy, and the healing of emotional wounds. This helps in viewing the oppressor in a new light and within a broader context, where one’s defenses are lowered, allowing for a deeper understanding of the situation as a whole, because our brains have changed. Perhaps this also gives us a window into spiritual experiences. This window is the gift of forgiveness. Forgiveness changes the neural imprint in our brains where an emotional reappraisal happens. This creates a release, which some experience as liberation, while for others, it feels like a shift in perception that is a miracle. From a neuroscientific perspective, perhaps this is the true meaning of grace.

To learn more about Tim Phillips’ work, enjoy the Political Forgiveness episode, “Biology, Brains, and the Business of Forgiveness” on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

 


SOURCE:

Ricciardi et al, How the Brain Heals Emotional Wounds: The Functional Neuroanatomy of Forgiveness, Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, Dec. 9, 2013

Biology, Brains, and the Business of Forgiveness

Tim Phillips has witnessed firsthand how forgiveness reshapes lives—whether in high-stakes negotiations that ended apartheid and sectarian violence, or in the emerging science that shows forgiveness can literally rewire the brain.

As a leader who has supported reconciliation processes from South Africa to Northern Ireland, Tim shares wisdom from figures like Desmond Tutu alongside insights from neuroscience and trauma research. He reminds us that forgiveness is not only a liberating personal choice but also a biological necessity: By understanding ourselves better, we begin to understand others — even our oppressors. Leadership, brain plasticity, and extraordinary stories of reconciliation all come alive in this wide-ranging conversation.

Tim Phillips

Tim Phillips is the founder and CEO of Beyond Conflict, a nonprofit organization that works with leaders to address conflict and promote social change in the United States and abroad. Tim has led efforts to catalyze the peace and reconciliation processes in several nations, including Northern Ireland, El Salvador, and South Africa, and has advised the United Nations, the US Department of State and the Council of Europe. Building on this body of experience, Beyond Conflict has partnered with cognitive and behavioral scientists to generate insights at the intersection of behavioral sciences and real world experience.

Where to Find Tim Phillips

LinkedIn: Timothy Phillips

Website: https://beyondconflictint.org

Dr. Eileen Borris

Dr. Eileen Borris is a clinical and political psychologist who has pioneered the concept of political forgiveness on the individual, community and national level. She has addressed the United Nations and has worked for over 30 years to build peace in areas of conflict around the world, including Rwanda, South Africa, Liberia, Nigeria, Ethiopia, and the Middle East. Eileen is the author of Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness and the creator of Healing the Divide, a program that trains leaders and other individuals interested in applying the principles of political forgiveness to transform their lives and create social change.

Be Part of Eileen’s Community

Subscribe to Political Forgiveness: Voices of Peace podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Subscribe to Political Forgiveness newsletter at drborris.com or on LinkedIn.

Eileen’s book: Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness

Timecodes

00:00  Introduction to Political Forgiveness

00:27  Meet Tim Phillips: Founder of Beyond Conflict

01:11  Exploring Post-Communist Europe

04:07  The Legacy of Apartheid in South Africa

08:36  The Miami Show Band Massacre

14:17  The Neuroscience of Forgiveness

20:58  Political Forgiveness in the Modern World

33:17  Final Thoughts and Reflections

The Priest and the Guerrilla Fighter

Father Leonel Narváez grew up dodging bullets in a Colombian war zone. Later, he befriended the founder of FARC—the same guerrilla group that had brought violence to his doorstep. That experience changed him forever. Now, he teaches nations how to heal through political forgiveness.

“We are asking people to move from being a beast toward being an angel, because both are there in your heart,” he says.

This episode will challenge everything you think you know about justice, mercy, and peace.

#LeonelNarváez #TransitionalJustice #VoicesOfPeace #Forgiveness #PoliticalForgiveness #Peacebuilding

Father Leonel Narváez is a Colombian sociologist, Catholic priest, and founder of the Foundation for Reconciliation in Bogotá. He is the architect of the ESPERE methodology (Escuelas de Perdón y Reconciliación), a training model designed to address the emotional roots of violence, such as resentment and the desire for revenge. His work, informed by experience in peace negotiations across Latin America and Africa, has been implemented in 21 countries and has reached over 2 million participants. Recognized by UNESCO and recipient of Colombia’s Emprender Paz Prize, Father Narváez advances forgiveness with a deep-rooted respect for human dignity.

Where to find Fr. Leonel Narváez

Website: https://www.fundacionparalareconciliacion.org

About Eileen Borris

Dr. Eileen Borris is a clinical and political psychologist who has pioneered the concept of political forgiveness on the individual, community and national level. She has addressed the United Nations and has worked for over 30 years to build peace in areas of conflict around the world, including Rwanda, South Africa, Liberia, Nigeria, Ethiopia, and the Middle East. Eileen is the author of Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness and the creator of Healing the Divide, a program that trains leaders and other individuals interested in applying the principles of political forgiveness to transform their lives and create social change.

Be Part of Eileen’s Community

Subscribe to Political Forgiveness podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Subscribe to Political Forgiveness newsletter: https://www.drborris.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dreileenborris

Eileen’s book: Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness

https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Forgiveness-Seven-Step-Program-Bitterness/dp/0071474692/ref=sr_1_1?

Timestamps

00:34 Meet Father Leonel Narváez

02:07 Leonel’s Early Life and Influences

05:19 Encounter with FARC Leader

10:36 Understanding Political Forgiveness

16:57 The Role of Truth and Reconciliation

24:48 ESPERE Methodology and Its Impact

32:32 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Forgiving a War Commander. Forging Community.

What happens when a mass killer asks for forgiveness? In Sierra Leone’s Fambul Tok (Family Talk) former combatants gather with victims around a bonfire to share their truth, seek forgiveness, and restore community. In this interview with Libby Hoffman, we follow the powerful journey of Mohammed Savage and others who went from committing atrocities to becoming advocates for peace. From traditional ceremonies to modern classrooms in Chicago and St. Louis, this grassroots model of healing is transforming lives. It’s not just about forgiveness—it’s about rebuilding trust, honoring culture, and showing what’s possible when communities lead their own healing.

#LibbyHoffman #CatalystforPeace #FambulTok #Forgiveness #PoliticalForgiveness #CommunityLeadership #RestorativeJustice #Reconciliation

Libby Hoffman

Libby Hoffman is the founder and president of Catalyst for Peace and author of the award-winning book, The Answers Are There: Building Peace from the Inside Out. She creates space for those most impacted by violence and war to lead in building the peace and restoring social wholeness. She co-founded the Fambul Tok (Family Talk) program in Sierra Leone and has accompanied its growth from post-war community reconciliation to national policy framework, as chronicled in her books and the award-winning documentary Fambul Tok, which she produced in 2011. A former political science professor at Principia College, Libby has degrees from Tufts’ Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy and Williams College.

Where to Find Libby Hoffman

Website: libbyhoffman.com

Book: The Answers Are There: Building Peace From The Inside Out

Documentary: Fambul Tok

Catalyst for Peace: catalystforpeace.org

About Eileen Borris

Dr. Eileen Borris is a clinical and political psychologist who has pioneered the concept of political forgiveness on the individual, community and national level. She has addressed the United Nations and has worked for over 30 years to build peace in areas of conflict around the world, including Rwanda, South Africa, Liberia, Nigeria, Ethiopia, and the Middle East. Eileen is the author of Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness and the creator of Healing the Divide, a program that trains leaders and other individuals interested in applying the principles of political forgiveness to transform their lives and create social change.

Be Part of Eileen’s Community

Subscribe to Political Forgiveness podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Subscribe to Political Forgiveness newsletter

LinkedIn: Dr. Eileen Borris

Eileen’s book: Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness

 

00:00 Introduction to Political Forgiveness

00:41 Meet Libby Hoffman: Catalyst for Peace

02:24 The Origins of Fambul Tok

03:15 Challenges and Triumphs of Reconciliation

06:16 The Power of Community Healing

10:08 Bonfire and Cleansing Ceremonies

14:35 Stories of Forgiveness and Reconciliation

28:13 Applying Fambul Tok Principles Globally

33:43 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Forgiveness Heals Post-Election Violence, Kenya, 2008

Twenty-five women said “enough.” While politicians pointed fingers and communities burned, these women rolled up their sleeves, and rebuilt their world — one water pipe, one factory, one peace treaty at a time. Mary Noble, co-founder of Feminenza, was the woman who orchestrated this transformation. She learned forgiveness in the most personal way possible: when her husband left her for another woman. That betrayal, that pain, that moment of choosing grace over revenge, became the foundation for healing an entire nation. Fair warning: You’re going to want to share this episode with everyone you know.

Mary Noble

Mary Noble is the co-founder and CEO of Feminenza, a nonprofit organization, which had its beginnings in 2000 with a gathering of some 400 women from all corners of the world working toward a greater mutuality between genders. Feminenza promotes the long-term development of women as peacemakers, their roles in leadership and society, and their partnership with men to establish a more humane and peaceful world. Mary creates and leads training programs in forgiveness.

#Forgiveness #PoliticalForgiveness #PersonalGrowth #Healing Relationships #HealingNations

Where to Find Mary Noble

Email: forgiveness@feminenza.org

Feminenza: https://feminenza.org

Upcoming workshop: The Seven Pillars of Forgiveness

Forgiveness PoliticalForgiveness Feminenza MaryNoble WomenPeacemakers Kenya PostElectionViolence PeaceBuilding ConflictResolution

About Eileen Borris

Dr. Eileen Borris is a clinical and political psychologist who has pioneered the concept of political forgiveness on the individual, community and national level. She has addressed the United Nations and has worked for over 30 years to build peace in areas of conflict around the world, including Rwanda, South Africa, Liberia, Nigeria, Ethiopia, and the Middle East. Eileen is the author of Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness and the creator of Healing the Divide, a program that trains leaders and other individuals interested in applying the principles of political forgiveness to transform their lives and create social change.

Be Part of Eileen’s Community

Subscribe to Political Forgiveness podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Subscribe to Political Forgiveness newsletter: https://www.drborris.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dreileenborris

Eileen’s book: Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness

 

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

01:19 Mary Noble’s Personal Journey to Forgiveness

02:53 The Role of Forgiveness in Society

05:49 Forgiveness in Conflict Zones: The Kenya Experience

08:54 Empowering Women for Community Healing

17:21 Workshops and Training Programs

20:21 Personal Stories of Transformation

28:26 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

Forgiveness: When to Raise the Heat?

This frank exchange asks: How do we hold space for grief, for truth, and for those not ready to reconcile? Eileen and Julia Roig explore the tension between raising the heat to disrupt complacency and calming it to build connection. From grassroots organizers in northern New York confronting ICE raids to Republican leaders standing up for farmers in the age of tariffs, we need to incentivize courage, says Julia and make harassment backfire.

Julia Roig is the founder and chief network weaver of the Horizon Project, where she focuses on strengthening connective tissue between social justice, bridge building and democracy. She has more than 30 years of experience working with democratic change and conflict transformation around the world.

Where to Find Julia Roig

LinkedIn: @Julia Roig

The Horizons Project

Vista newsletter

https://horizonsproject.us

Mentioned in the Episode

Resource kit for responding to threats of violence and harrassment

Harnessing Our Power to End Political Violence

Loretta J. Ross TED Talk

Don’t call people out — call them in

Loretta J. Ross book

“Calling In: How to Start Making Change with Those You’d Rather Cancel”

About Eileen

Dr. Eileen Borris is a clinical and political psychologist who has pioneered the concept of political forgiveness on the individual, community and national level. She has addressed the United Nations and has worked for over 30 years to build peace in areas of conflict around the world, including Rwanda, South Africa, Liberia, Nigeria, Ethiopia, and the Middle East. Eileen is the author of Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness and the creator of Healing the Divide, a program that trains leaders and other individuals interested in applying the principles of political forgiveness to transform their lives and create social change.

Be Part of Eileen’s Community

Subscribe to Political Forgiveness podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Subscribe to Political Forgiveness newsletter:

https://www.drborris.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/dreileenborris

Eileen’s book: Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness

Time Codes

00:00 Introduction and Host Welcome

00:41 Guest Introduction: Julia Rogue

01:13 Julia’s Background and the Horizon Project

03:04 Connecting Communities for Change

05:21 Frameworks for Societal Healing

08:29 Challenges and Resistance in Dialogue

09:58 The Role of Historic Memory

15:02 Building Solidarity Networks

25:14 Rotary Forgiveness Training Program

28:54 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

The Heat of Resistance Meets the Cool of Dialogue

Within groups in the peacebuilding community there are differing opinions as to what needs to happen and how to deal with the current authoritarian resurgence. Do we need to heat things up, resist and cry out for social justice or do we need to cool things down and work towards bringing people together in a healing capacity. People are taking different approaches as to what needs to happen.

Shaking Things up With Resistance

In my most recent podcast, Julia Roig spoke of these tensions in the peacebuilding field where some groups want to heat things up through resistance, while others want to cool things down through such means as focused dialogue. We witnessed Senator Cory Booker heating things up in his 25-hour, record-breaking speech with the intention of disrupting business as usual in the United States Senate. There were also Republican leaders standing up for farmers on the receiving end of the tariff policies in rural America. We are now beginning to see a movement within the Democratic Party as leaders shift from trying to find common ground with Republicans to standing their own ground and articulating their own vision. The barn-burning speech recently given by Democratic Illinois governor J.B. Pritzker is an example of that, as he urged Democrats to stop listening to the over cautious “do-nothing political types,” when Americans need to take urgent action and fight everywhere and all at once.

Rallies have been taking place throughout the 50 states, which include civil rights organizations, labor unions, Federal workers, veterans, and LGBTQIA+ advocates, to name a few. People from all walks of life are having a change of heart and want to be part of a different future for our country — we need to create on-ramps for their acceptance and welcome them into the broadest possible movement. As Reverend C.T. Vivian, aide to Dr. Martin Luther King said: “When you ask people to give up hate, then you need to be there for them when they do.” Government is meant to work for all of us.

So where does a process of political forgiveness fit within all of this, and how do we work through tension and conflict to offer viable pathways for acknowledgement, healing, and reconciliation? Given the political climate we’re living through with the dismantling of our democracy, it’s more important than ever to find ways to come together. How can change and accountability be pursued without alienating each other? How we deal with the pain and harm done to all of us will determine our future together, raising the potential of bringing us closer together with greater clarity and profound healing.

An Historical Accounting

Raising the heat is not about initiating violence. It is about shaking people out of complacency. It is about getting people to recognize harm done and to acknowledge the role all of us are playing. This builds tension between those who want to raise the heat and those who want to cool things off and bring people together. But what about a framework that can do both? It begins with a resistance movement to heat things up so we come out of denial. Only then can we heal anger and hate on the path to forgiveness and societal change. We have seen resistance in civil rights movements that grabs people’s attention. In a justice-seeking framework such as a truth and reconciliation commission, we’ve seen there needs to be an historical account of what has taken place, an acknowledgment of crimes and injustices committed, and which continue to happen, before there can be reconciliation or an agreement of non-repetition.

“When you ask people to give up hate, then you need to be there for them when they do.”  — Reverend C.T. Vivian, aide to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

In a political forgiveness process groups must agree to stop the harm before coming together. In order to do that, there may be a need for resistance as a first step. In a political forgiveness process stories need to be told that provide historical context and a sharing of lived experiences before moving toward forgiveness. There needs to be recognition of the injustice that took place and perhaps acknowledgment of the existential nature which created the conditions for people to do horrific things to one another. People will need to be held accountable for actions taken and then come together in making decisions as to how to repair the community. Only then can new relationships can be formed and forgiveness offered.

Not everyone will be ready to do this kind of work — to share the historical framework that shaped who they are — which not only requires sharing the psychological landscape from which they came, but also being willing to go deep within themselves emotionally, grieving the losses and what they wish could have been, in order to make peace with the past. Deep healing takes time; this work cannot be rushed. Empathy for someone else can’t be given if we can’t get in touch with our own pain. Only after we become aware of our humanness can we understand the humanity of the “other.” It is only then that we will be able to find each other across differences, hear the diversity of lived experiences, and find a way of moving forward together.

SOURCES

Heather Cox Richardson, April 29, 2025, Substack

The Practice of Forgiveness With Dr. Loren Toussaint

Does time really heal all wounds? In this engaging podcast episode, host Eileen Borris talks with health psychologist Loren Toussaint about the multifaceted nature of forgiveness. They discuss how forgiveness is an intentional process akin to developing healthy habits, debunking the myth that time heals all wounds. The conversation delves into how forgiveness can be practiced daily to improve mental health and social relationships.

Eileen and Loren also explore the role of spirituality in forgiveness and the applicability of forgiveness principles in building cohesive communities. The episode aims to elevate understanding and practice of forgiveness in both personal and political spheres as a means to foster social change.

Dr. Loren Toussaint is a professor of psychology at Luther College in Decorah, Iowa. His research examines and encourages “everyday forgiveness” to build resilience and minimize stress in families, schools, healthcare, workplaces, and communities. Everyday forgiveness is taught through the Forgiveness Foundation which is an education and outreach organization emphasizing the role of forgiveness in building resilience and encouraging personal growth. Dr. Toussaint and colleagues recently published a compendium of research titled: Forgiveness and Health: Scientific Evidence and Theories Relating Forgiveness to Better Health.

Where to Find Dr. Toussaint

Facebook: @loren.toussaint

Twitter: @LorenToussaint

LinkedIn: Loren Toussaint

Email: touslo01@luther.edu

forgivenessfoundation.org

luther.edu/faculty/loren-toussaint

 

Dr. Eileen Borris is a clinical and political psychologist who has pioneered the concept of political forgiveness on the individual, community and national level. She has addressed the United Nations and has worked for over 30 years to build peace in areas of conflict around the world, including Rwanda, South Africa, Liberia, Nigeria, Ethiopia, and the Middle East. Eileen is the author of Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness and the creator of Healing the Divide, a program that trains leaders and other individuals interested in applying the principles of political forgiveness to transform their lives and create social change.

Be Part of Eileen’s Community

Subscribe to the Political Forgiveness newsletter at drborris.com or on LinkedIn.

Subscribe to the Political Forgiveness podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Book: Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness

 

00:00 Introduction to Political Forgiveness

00:45 Meet Loren Toussaint: Expert on Forgiveness

01:20 Defining Forgiveness: Beyond Letting Go

04:58 The Intentionality of Forgiveness

07:16 Forgiveness as a Daily Practice

12:33 Building Forgiving Communities

21:22 Spiritual Foundations of Forgiveness

31:45 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

Forgiveness and Social Change

Humanity finds itself at a crossroads. Will we let our anger and fear guide us, or will we take a breath and recognize there’s a better way to handle the emotional turmoil so many of us are experiencing. We do have the tools within ourselves to see a larger picture of what’s really happening within our world and make changes to have a healing effect, not a divisive one.

All of us have flaws. All of us are afraid and feel that we have been treated unfairly. That is part of the human condition—but acting out anger to hurt others doesn’t have to be our default. Anger does serve a purpose. Either something within ourselves or outside ourselves needs to change and therefore we need to take responsibility for our lives and our world. But responsibility doesn’t imply being hateful and uncaring. It doesn’t mean denying the pain and suffering people are feeling and unwillingness to understand the experiences of others for fear that something is being taken away from us. We’re all in this world together, and the choices we make bring either comfort to one another or pain and suffering. This is why building skills of forgiveness in our personal lives becomes critical.

Political philosopher Hannah Arendt in her book The Human Condition writes, “Without being forgiven, released from the consequences of what we have done, our capacity to act would be confined to a single deed.” The beauty of forgiveness, as noted by Arendt, is that forgiveness interrupts otherwise automatic processes. Forgiveness allows people to break away from violence and helps to create new relationships. The willingness for us to forgive is what holds us together—not only in our private lives but also in the public sphere—for forgiveness is as vital in our deepest personal bonds as in our collective experience in the public realm. Poet and philosopher David Whyte speaks of forgiveness as assuming a larger identity than the person who was first hurt.

What does forgiveness do as a political tool? It becomes the healing mechanism for actions we cannot reverse. Although forgiveness is seen by many as an act of compassion in response to something done to us, Arendt believes that forgiveness is an activity of politics. Understanding that certain actions cannot be undone, forgiveness is the only mechanism which can release us from the past.

“The power to forgive, like the power to enter into new social covenants, is an essential power for social change,” says Arendt. Holding on to the overpowering undertow of revenge, hostility, and resentment can tie up a society its own past. We can condemn the actions while continuing to talk to those who perpetrated the actions. This kind of power is what builds and maintains societies. It is liken to the power attributed to God in which he/she must reconcile the ‘conflicting truths’ of hatred for the sin and love for the sinner. Any power that affects reconciliation is a very significant power. What political task is more difficult than to build social relationships between humans who have a history of offenses against each other?

In The Politics of Peace, Brian Frost speaks of forgiveness in the following terms:

The power to combine justice and love in an act of forgiveness is an awesome power, supremely in the God of Abraham and the God of Jesus. But, as we have seen, if for Jesus, too, the divine power to forgive was unique, it was not exclusive. Humans now must share that power towards each other. To refuse to forgive is to refuse to repair a broken relationship. To forgive is to save that relationship. In the “divine comedy” that plays out its course down to the end of the historical tragedies of humanity, forgiveness is the way of divine victory (my italics).

Frost continues to say that in terms of the Hebrew-Christian view of the world, “broken human beings are more valuable than the laws that they break or that break them. Most valuable of all is an act which restores law’s authority while also healing the human brokenness. Forgiveness is that act.”

Sacred traditions have a deep understanding of human psychology and tell us that the development of the ego is not the final state of human evolution. Sacred traditions originate with people revered as highly developed, whose wisdom and insight far surpass that of ordinary mortals. Thus, the idea that humans can grow beyond ego to divine self-transcendence is crucial to our understanding of forgiveness. If ego is that state of consciousness which seeks to dominate, conquer, and control, then the cure for violence and hatred is expanding consciousness beyond ego. True happiness can only be found through a sense of wholeness and harmony with others and the environment. Our thought system, because of the psychological dynamics it sets up, creates feelings and illusions of separation. The consequence is that we cannot experience our wholeness. This thought system is transformed not through repression or regression, but through transcendence of the illusion of separate selfhood. The process which makes transcendence possible is one which helps us grow in our wholeness, owning our disowned selves, and healing our guilt and fear. It is the process of forgiveness.

The ageless wisdom gives us insight into the evolution of consciousness. This evolution is based on the recognition of the divine nature of humanity. It is also closely tied in with the recognition of our natural goodness and our ability to know unconditional love. Humanity is at a turning point and to face the present challenges we need to grow psychologically and spiritually. Perhaps in humanity’s struggle and the realization that violence and condemnation are creating more pain and suffering we will learn to make different choices. Sometimes our greatest advances may come from our seemingly greatest mistakes. With free will, we will realize that it is not out of coercion or fixed determination but of the power of love that our best choices will be made.

The Power of Forgiveness With Dr. Fred Luskin

How do you move beyond grievance to become an active creator in your own life? Dr. Eileen Borris interviews Dr. Fred Luskin to break down common myths around forgiveness. They discuss how an Amish community forgave a shooter who murdered five schoolchildren. If you weren’t born into a culture of forgiveness like the Amish, Fred talks about the building blocks of forgiveness to get you started. It is possible to step out of victimhood and open to the beauty, preciousness, and gratitude of this life.

Dr. Fred Luskin is the director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Projects. He’s also the author of the bestselling books, Forgive for Good and Forgive for Love. Forgive for Good is the best-selling self-help book published on the topic of forgiveness. Fred has been interviewed hundreds of times in worldwide media, including the New York Times, O Magazine, the Los Angeles Times, Time Magazine, Huffington Post, and he has been featured on the Today Show and CBS Morning News. Learn more at fredluskin.com.

Dr. Eileen Borris is a clinical and political psychologist who has pioneered the concept of political forgiveness on the individual, community, and national level. She has addressed the United Nations and has worked for over 30 years to build peace in areas of conflict around the world, including Rwanda, South Africa, Liberia, Nigeria, Ethiopia, and the Middle East. Eileen is the creator of Healing the Divide, a program that trains leaders and other individuals interested in applying the principles of political forgiveness to transform their lives and create social change.

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Book: Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness

Timecodes

00:00 Introduction to Political Forgiveness

00:43 Meet Dr. Fred Luskin

01:40 The Culture of Grievance

09:20 Understanding Forgiveness

11:06 The Role of Victimhood and Anger

13:29 Forgiveness in Communities

15:26 Daily Practice of Forgiveness

17:32 Forgiveness in Relationships

26:52 The Teachability of Forgiveness

29:40 Conclusion and Resources