Secrets of a Court Mediator: Forgiveness and Mediation
Grudges and hostility aren’t free, according to Sam Imperati. With over 30 years experience as a “pit bull” trial attorney, judge and finally mediator, Sam has seen it all, including litigious winners who walk away dissatisfied. The pragmatic forgiveness he brought to his own divorce helps him shine light on a different path for vengeful clients — one of relationship and resolution that brings a rich satisfaction to all involved.
Sam Imperati, JD
Sam Imperati is the executive director of ICMResolutions, a Seattle-based national dispute-resolution provider offering mediation, facilitation, decision-making, team-building, and training services. His multi-disciplinary approach combines classic facilitation with the result-oriented tools of mediation to help polarized participants reach agreement both upstream and downstream. He is also a grandfather, a midfielder on an over-68 men’s soccer team, and a stand-up comedy winner.
Dr. Fred Luskin
Dr. Fred Luskin is the director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Projects. He’s also the author of the bestselling books, Forgive for Good and Forgive for Love. Forgive for Good is the best-selling self-help book published on the topic of forgiveness. Fred has been interviewed hundreds of times in worldwide media, including The New York Times, O Magazine, the Los Angeles Times, Time Magazine, Huffington Post, and he has been featured on the Today Show and CBS Morning News. Learn more at fredluskin.com.
Dr. Eileen Borris
Dr. Eileen Borris is a clinical and political psychologist who has pioneered the concept of political forgiveness on the individual, community and national level. She has addressed the United Nations and has worked for over 30 years to build peace in areas of conflict around the world, including Rwanda, South Africa, Liberia, Nigeria, Ethiopia, and the Middle East. Eileen is the author of Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness and the creator of Healing the Divide, a program that trains leaders and other individuals interested in applying the principles of political forgiveness to transform their lives and create social change.
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Eileen’s book: Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness
Timestamps
00:00 Relationship or Blame?
00:18 Welcome and Introductions
02:10 From Trial Lawyer to Mediator
03:43 Divorce and Pragmatic Forgiveness
05:19 Why You Cannot Force Forgiveness
08:17 Humanizing Litigation Choices
10:56 Listening, Questions and Responsibility
22:03 Binary Choice: Relationship vs Case
25:33 Big Wins Public Policy Mediations
28:33 Fight Nice and Ongoing Relationships
31:36 Final Takeaways, Resolution Humor
34:49 Resources, Thanks and Closing
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